Awakening Dusk
by silkoverglass
Summary: B&E's story after Eclipse.Adventures and Challenges await them as they embark on this new phase of their relationship.Their honeymoon,Bella's change,a new treaty with the wolves,a conflict with the Volturi will make them choose sides.Canon.Not OOC
1. Time

**Discla****imer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Awakening Dusk**

**By**

**Silkoverglass**

_Tempus fugit_

_Time flies._

_Some believe that time flies when your having fun, I believe this statement is true to a certain degree, time is relative, it can speed up when you don't want it to end and drag on endlessly when you want it to accelerate. _

The weeks before the wedding I was completely convinced that time had stopped. Alice was all over the place with wedding preparations and she seemed to be losing it a little bit. This had me worried for a while but Edwards only comment was

"Don't worry about her love, Alice just really gets into things, you know how she is, she gets a little carried away, but I assure you she's having a lot of fun in the process"

"Fun" – I said rather unenthusiastically- "What Alice regards as '_fun' _really frightens me. I don't know how much more I can stand of all the shopping and the fittings and the hair and make up rehearsals. I mean you would think that since she can see into the future she would know by know what things I will pick, and what style of hair and make up will best suit me"

Edward chuckled "I know, but you have to give her credit she's done all the work here and has left us alone for the most part. I think were getting a pretty good deal"

"Well you're right, at least this gives us time to be alone. Good time to practice" I hinted with a wink.

Edward just smiled at me, but it looked little forced. So I thought that maybe he needed a little cheering up. I pulled myself closer to him so that I could reach up and grab his neck I then proceeded to very gently place small kisses in his throat working my way up to slowly whisper in his ear 'I love you'.

He responded immediately cupping the back of my neck and bringing my lips to his. I crushed my self to him and very enthusiastically returned the kiss. My heartbeat beating at an incredible pace and my skin overheating. Edward moved his hands slowly to my face and angled my head up so that he could kiss my neck. His breath was ragged and I was almost hyperventilating. I moved my hands- that had been lying in his chest now- up to his shoulders and tried to pull myself closer to him. A low moan resounding deep within his throat.

I wasn't worried about waking Charlie, it was about 2:00 am now, and I could hear him snoring contently down the hall. I sometimes felt a little guilty deceiving him like this. Because I knew in my heart that if he ever found out that Edward spent almost every night with me in my narrow little bed he would probably have a heart attack. But I buried those thoughts far away in a corner of my mind for now, because I knew Charlie would never find out. And even if he did, it's not like we were doing anything inappropriate. Ok maybe the boyfriend sleeping over was not the most appropriate thing, but Edward had already defined very specific rules as to our physical relationship and we weren't breaking any rules here.

His hands started to move down to my shoulders dragging with his fingers the thin straps of my camisole pulling it down my arms.

_Ok, ok …. He had never done that before…_whatever my mind wasn't working right now. I pulled myself closer to him like a drowning victim clings to a rock, my leg seemed to have a mind of it's own as it moved up to his leg. In a flash one of his hands hitched around my knee and pulled my leg all the way up to his waist so that I was now completely on top of him.

_Holy crow… sould I sop him!...hmm..uh? maybe later__. _His hand moved up my thigh to my waist caressing the small of my back, his fingers interlacing with the hem of my camisole. I could feel as his fingers grabbed a handful of the cotton fabric in a tight fist. His other hand grabbed my hair and he crushed his lips so hard to mine that I thought that for sure I would have a bruise by tomorrow. He broke the apart and started kissing my shoulder.

Suddenly I heard a low rip and the next thing I knew I was lying face down alone on my bed. Before I had time to even comprehend what had happened this time I heard Edward's voice across the room. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me"

His voice was so full of grieve that I almost jumped out of bed to console him. But as I moved my torso I noticed a small piece of cotton fabric next to me. Oh, OH! My shirt laid in tatters in the bed. Only small pieces of it clinging to me. Now I understood! Huh, wonder how I didn't feel that?. I wanted to fly to his side and reassure him, but I could hardly move without basically revealing my whole chest to him. So I tried humor.

"It's ok. Didn't even like this one. Pink is not really my color"

Silence.

"Edward?"

"I'm here." He said, then noticing my predicament added. " I'll wait outside and give you some privacy".

"Don't leave!" my voice sounded desperate.

"I should. But I won't. Just call me when you're a little more…um…presentable" He a added slowly.

"Ok". I didn't even hear him cross the room, but I felt a cool chill coming from the window that was now opened. I sighed and got off the bed to look for a shirt on my drawer. I threw a t-shirt on and murmured his name. He was back sitting in my rocking chair, like he had been there all along.

"Edward" I started kneeling in front him trying to see his eyes, but he wouldn't meet my gaze. "It's ok, it's just a shirt" He looked at me then and I almost gasped at the look in his eyes, he was in complete sorrow! Why? Over a stupid shirt? Why does he always have to overreact?

He tried to smile then but it came out more as a grimace.

"I know. I'm just glad it was just a shirt and not you"

He was really tormenting himself over this! This is so ridiculous! "Yes" I said starting to get angry now. "I was just a shirt. Why do you have to overreact like this?".

He let out a burst of air through his lips before he answered. "Bella you have no idea how hard it is for me to control myself when we are together like this! It's almost painful".

"Painful?" I repeated perplexed. "Being with me causes you pain?"

"No. I don't mean it that way. It's just that…" He trailed on into silence.

"It's just that what?" I was starting to feel a little hurt now, I could feel the color rising in my cheeks.

He took my face between his hands and looked into my eyes intently. "You misunderstood me. What I meant was that when we are this close and I start to loose complete control of myself it's extremely difficult for me to regain composure. I need to control myself so that I don't kill you Bella! You know that! You have no idea what a herculean effort that takes, when all I want is to be even closer to you!"

His eyes looked desperate, agonizing. How could I do this to him? "I'm sorry Edward". I said slowly, tears starting to built in my eyes as I realized his pain.

"No. Don't be! This is not your fault. It's just the reality of who; **of what!** I am. You've done nothing wrong" He had cradled me in his lap now and was gently caressing my hair.

"Don't even think about starting with that!" I retorted. "You are not a monster Edward!"

"Then what am I Bella?! If not a monster! I can't even be with you and love you like you deserve without putting your life in peril!"

"Edward" I gasped. "How can you even think of yourself that way? I can't even begin to describe how many ways you make me feel your love. You love me more that I deserve and I feel complete when I am with you. You can make me feel loved just by smiling at me! As for what you are I can't even start. I would take all eternity to describe all your qualities. All I can say is that you are my everything".

I looked deeply into his eyes trying to some how make him understand what he meant to me.

He inhaled deeply and sighted. "You love me more than I deserve and I hope that I can someday come close to deserving that love. I know I will never truly deserve you but I am more than happy to spend all eternity trying".

"I love you, and although I think you have that backwards the eternity trying makes me really happy". He smiled then his crooked smile and this time it looked sincere. I yawned and he moved us to my bed. I snuggled to his side and he pulled the covers over me. Kissing me on the head he whispered. "I love you Bella. Now sleep my love".

He started humming my lullaby and I felt myself slowly drifting away into subconscious. I couldn't help but remember what he said, he was in pain. Maybe I had to rethink about our whole deal. Was I being selfish by pushing him to do this when he clearly felt so worried about it? My thoughts became rambled as I lost myself to sleep.

**A/N This is my first fan fic so I would like to know what you think.**


	2. Conscience

**Discla****imer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

Chapter two

"_A burthen'd conscience_

_Will never need a hangman" – Beaumont and Fletcher, Laws of Comedy_

We were heading to the airport _en route_ to our honeymoon in Edward's favorite car; the Vanquish. The dark forest speeding by in a blur outside my window. We had done it! We had gotten married!

_Oh my gosh. I'm a wife!_And Edward is my husband. Yes _**My Husband**_. That made all the difference. I looked down at our interlacing hands, my ring shimmering in the moonlight coming trough the window. I could feel his eyes on me.

"What are you thinking?" he asked for the hundredth time tonight.

I laughed as I looked back at him, still not answering.

"Bella" He said sounding a bit annoyed. "Please tell me".

"Well" I began. "I was thinking how indescribably happy I am right now"

"Really?" He said, but I could see the joy irradiating from every part of him, triggering a beautiful smile on his lips. "I thought you were rather adamant about getting married. What made you change your mind?"

"Well" I sighted. "For one thing although Charlie was rather opposed in the beginning, I think that seeing us together and how happy we are, how your family regards me as one of their own, has eased his mind to some measure. After all he did get his chance to walk me down the aisle just as he had asked. I guess that's the least I could do for him".

"Yes, he walked you down the aisle." I felt him give my hand a little squeeze. "And did I tell you how absurdly beautiful you looked walking down said aisle to me?"

I blushed. "Um yeah…I think you might have mentioned that once..or..I don't know…about a million times tonight". I smiled at him.

"Well I guess that's because I am in utter awe of you, I can't help it, you take my breath away. You remember that time in Port Angeles, at the restaurant; you told me that I dazzled you?"

"Yes I remember and you know, that is true, you do dazzle me, all the time. That's how you get away with almost everything. It's not fair you know". I held my right hand to my chest feigning annoyance.

He laughed. "Yes, but you must know that you dazzle me too. And you do seem to get your way rather repeatedly, so I guess we are even"

"I dazzle you?" Yeah like that is possible.

"Constantly" He answered with a sly smile on his lips.

"Well even if that is true. When do I ever get '_my way_'?"

"HA! Like you don't know". He said making a face in mock horror. But I could see something there just under the surface. I knew what he was talking about. Our deal. He had agreed to change me if I would marry him first. I did, now was his turn. In exchange for the marriage my one condition had been that we would at least try to have a physical relation before I was changed.

As we sat there in comfortable silence I gazed out the window. I couldn't help but remember our last 'practice' a few nights ago. '**Pain**' that's what he said it was like trying to control himself when we were that close. Could it really be that hard for him? Alice had once said that once they started feeding it was like a frenzy, like sharks. But this was not the same. I was not asking him to take a little nibble at my throat. I was asking him to just give himself completely to me in body, mind, and soul. To share with me the most intimate act of love between a man and a woman. This is surely not the same thing. But then again. Would he truly be sharing his whole being with me if at the same time he had to be checking all the time that he was not hurting me? Is that how I wanted this to happen?

"What are the other reasons?" He asked. But then added noticing that I was lost once again in my thoughts. "For changing your mind about the marriage"

"Oh. Well not only is Charlie happy but Renee seemed very pleased herself". _That was a shock!_ "She was completely taken with Esme. And although Alice didn't let her do anything herself I think she felt thrilled with the way your sister arranged everything. I have to give credit to Alice she really outdid herself. Everything was perfect. I couldn't have asked for a better wedding coordinator. Or for a better sister, for that matter".

"Yes Alice was wonderful. I have to thank her for that. And Esme truly likes Renee too, they get along really well". He paused. "Is that all, are those all of your reasons?" He was truly curious now.

"No there's one more. The most important. I realized that now I get to keep you for ever. My husband. That puts everything else in a new perspective". I said grinning from ear to ear.

He was beaming. "You don't now how happy it makes me to hear you say that. Mrs. Cullen". He brought up our hands to his lips and kissed my hand tenderly. I let out a breath and leaned my head back contently in the head rest looking trough the glass at the sky. This is where I wanted to be for ever. Right beside this man that I adore. Nothing in the world matters. I would do for him anything because nothing could make me happier than just making him happy. Getting a chance to see that beautiful crocked smile on his lips and knowing that I had some part in that is the greatest joy in the world.

"Love" he awakened me out of my pensive state. "We're here. You look tired. I guess it's good that the plane ride is long, you could use a few hours of rest". He said gently stroking my cheek with the back of his hand.

"I guess I could use some sleep. But you know, I could probably rest better if I knew where in the world you're taking me". I still didn't know, and Alice had been no help at all in that subject.

"Really? You would rest better if I told you?" He said opening my door for me and taking my hand as he led me toward the gate.

"Edward" I said smacking him on the arm. I hated when he teased me like this.

"Hum. Perhaps I could tell you". He said looking at me like he was studying a bug under a microscope.

"Are you going to tell me or not?" Ok he was definitely enjoying himself. _Annoying vampire!_

"Um….No. I will not. But nice try though". Now he was really smiling!

I gave him the best angry glare that I could muster and sat down on one of the chairs in the gate, crossing my arms across my chest in the process. He sat down in the chair next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders leaning his body towards me. He cupped my face with his other hand and moved my head so that I was facing him.

"Come now love, don't be mad. This is our wedding night". He was staring right into my eyes smoldering me with his gaze.

How could I resist. I could hardly make a coherent thought when he looked at me like that! "Ok. I won't get mad". I said caving in rapidly like always. "But promise me that after this there will be no more surprises".

He looked a little smug at his easy victory. "Well I can hardly promise that as I am most exited about having the opportunity to spoil you every chance I get. But if it will make you feel better I do promise to tone it down a bit in the future". He came closer to me and whispered in my ear making me blush a deep scarlet and sending a shiver down my spine. "Although I must say that even though this might annoy you it's worth it, if I get to see that look on your face. You are quite lovely when you are mad"

I rolled my eyes trying to look my absolute best detached. I wouldn't risk talking because my voice would surely shake and give me away. So I simply adjusted on my seat so that I could rest my head in his shoulder while we waited for our flight and whispered 'I love you, you know'.

I could feel the smile on his lips as he whispered against my skin. "That's why we're here. I love you too. My bride."

**A/N This story might seem to start a little slow, but I hope you give me the opportunity to develop it. Many things are about to happen and I very much hope to keep you interested. Right now I'm just setting it up. I know exactly where I want to go with it, as it's pretty much complete in my head. However I would love to hear what you have to say.**


	3. Patience

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

Chapter 3

_Patience, that blending of moral courage with physical timidity._

_- Thomas Hardy, Tess of the D'Ubervilles -_

The trip was long and just as Edward had predicted I slept trough most of it. I just remember being woken up by him when we reached Huston and being half dragged to our gate in a semiconscious state. The rest is kind of blurry. I think I did ask once again where we were going, but I just have a distant memory of Edward chuckling before I fell asleep again.

We arrived in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil just as the sun was setting and boarded a cab. I was starting to get worried that our wedding destination would be in the middle of nowhere in some bug infested jungle but I kept my mouth shut. I hate bugs but anywhere with Edward has the prospect of turning to paradise.

We arrived at a dock where I could see many different types of boats and yachts. Edward proceeded to guide me to one that was not as big as the others but that somehow looked faster.

Our voyage wasn't long this time. Of course, with Edward behind the wheel of anything that moves no ride takes very long.

He skillfully maneuvered the vessel to a stop right next to a small wooden dock. I couldn't see much of the island he had taken us to because it was rather dark by now. I did notice that there were no other boats around.

"Where are we?" I asked a little confused as he took our luggage and placed them on the bleached wooden planks of the dock.

He turned to me and with one swift movement lifted me in his arms. "This is Isle Esme, an anniversary gift from Carlisle".

He sprung lightly into the dock and cradled me in one arm as he took both handles of the two huge steamer trunks in his free hand. He started walking towards the forest lighted only by the moonlight.

There was no path that I could see, but then I did not have his superhuman eyesight so I couldn't be sure if there was one.

He had walked a short distance when I started to see a faint light coming from inside the forest. As we neared to the light source I started to distinguish what looked like a two story building nestled between the trees.

It was beautiful! Light was coming out through the windows. I could make out the shape of a deep winding porch surrounding the whole ground level of the house. It looked like a villa taken of the pages of a Spanish Conquest History book.

"Well? What do you think?" His face looked angelic in the moonlight coming through the canopy of trees above us.

"It's unreal Edward! And you said Carlisle gave this to Esme as an anniversary gift?" _Who gives an island as a gift? Edwards generosity must be a learned behavior. _

"Yes, and Esme very kindly offered to let us borrow it. We come here from time to time, when we need to get away for a while and Esme and Carlisle come here at least once a year. It's a very special place for them. And it's far enough away from the locals so that we don't have to hide". He stated.

We reached the front door and he set our trunks in the porch and opened the door. He carried me trough the threshold looking deep in my eyes. My breathing was already ragged and my heartbeat was at an unhealthy rhythm. Without breaking our eye contact he started climbing up the white wood stairs leading to the second story. He walked down a narrow hallway and turned to the last door on the right.

He kissed me gently as he pushed the door open and clicked on the light. He took a few steps and stopped, holding me so close that while he spoke his lips brushed mine igniting a blush on mi face and neck.

"You might want a human minute or two. It was a long journey". He stood me up on my feet and took a step back pretending to fix one of the buttons on his shirt.

He looked nervous and I knew why. My stomach made a somersault.

"The bathroom is through that door if you want to….um…freshen up. I'll go get the luggage". He said suddenly disappearing from the room.

I grabbed on to footrest of the huge sled bed for support as I felt my legs shaking and my stomach tightening into a tight knot. _Was he as nervous as me? _No. Of course we were nervous, but in his case there was also fear. I was a little bit scared myself but my fear was not the same as his. I was not feeling like this because I thought that he would hurt me. I was sure Edward could never hurt me. Despite that I was sweating bullets and my skin was on fire, I knew I was ready. I wanted this. I've been ready for a long time now and I knew that he also wanted this. But was _**he**_ ready? No. He was not and I had already made my decision. I was not going to go through with this until he was. It had been easier than I expected making this choice because I knew that if the tables had been turned Edward would had never made me go through something like this if I had any doubts.

Taking deep breaths to calm myself I turned around and walked to open the door to the bathroom. I closed it behind me as I flicked on the light. It was big, not as huge as Alice's bedroom sized bathroom but definitely big enough to fit my old room. The walls were paneled in white painted wood planks. The floor was also white and tiled in a diamond shaped pattern. There was a beautiful clawed leg bathtub in the far end right beneath a window and what looked like a glass encased shower with jets coming out of the wall next to it in the right corner. The bathtub looked tempting but after spending so much time traveling I did not have the patience to wait for it to fill. I opened the white closet that was straight across the door and took out a huge tent sized white towel. I stripped of the deep blue dress that Alice had picked for me as a going-away ensemble and stepped into to shower. I wasn't sure how to work the little dials and buttons so I just pushed the closet button to me.

All of a sudden I was assaulted by an angry hurricane coming from the walls. _Holy crap!_

I struggled against the current that had pinned me against the glass wall. I heard a knock on the door and Edward asked sounding concerned.

"Bella? Everything alright in there?"

"Yeah" I answered kneeling on the floor of the torture chamber that these vampires call shower.

"Are you sure?" He persisted. "It sounds like you're having a little trouble managing the dials of the shower".

"No…..um…well a little. I think it's possessed and it's trying to drown me". I admitted regretfully as I crawled on my hands and knees out of it.

"Can I come in? I can regulate the pressure of the water, if you want". He sounded like he was smiling.

Great! Another thing that he could make fun of me with! Well at least it was Edward out there and not Emmet because that one would've never let me live this down.

I grabbed a terry cloth robe that was hanging on a hook in the wall and put it on. I then proceeded to open the door.

Edward just stood there looking at me in surprise before asking "What happened to your hair?!"

He was obviously working very hard not to start laughing.

"What?" I said turning around to look in the mirror. My soaking hair was all tangled around my neck like it was trying to strangle me and sticking to my face in odd angles. "I fell inside a blender, that's what happened!" I snapped.

That threw him over the edge and he started laughing so hard that I could feel the vibration on my feet. He moved to turned of the water.

"Jerk" I muttered but he ignored me and continued laughing throwing his head back and shaking from head to toe! He turned on a dial and pushed the button. Water started coming out of the jets in a gentle stream.

Edward turned to me still smiling and said "There, it's safe now, I think. But if you're still worried about it being possessed maybe we could throw some holy water in there and chant a little around it".

He was once again trying unsuccessfully not to laugh.

"Ha,ha. Very funny. Now get out!" I started pushing him towards the door.

"Ok. Ok. But I just wanted to give you your toiletry bag. I thought you might need it and your suitcase is on top of the dresser if you want to change your clothes".

I walked passed him to the bedroom and got my bag. I opened the suitcase completely ignoring him. I was a little scared about the contents of the suitcase because Alice hadn't let me pack any of my stuff saying that the honeymoon location was a surprise and seeing what she had packed would give too much away. My fears were not unfounded. There was a lot of lacy stuff in there. Ugh! If I'm going to stick to my plan of waiting for Edward to be ready these embarrassing things were no help whatsoever. Although I could use them just to torture him for making fun of me. Just the thought of wearing these skimpy things in front of him made my cheeks start warming. I put that thought out of my mind for now, I could get revenge later. I dug deeper in the trunk and fished out a pair of khaki shorts and a white cotton tank top. Not the most comfortable things to sleep in but at least they covered most of me. Maybe later I could raid Edward's suitcase and steal some of his shirts to sleep in.

I took my stuff and headed for the bathroom feeling his eyes on me. I needed to think what I was going to tell him. How was I going to break the news to him that our deal was off. I didn't want him to think that I didn't want him and hurt his feelings. I just hoped that when I got out of the bathroom he wasn't laying across the bed without a shirt or something like that because that would definitely break my resolve. _Yikes!_ I had no idea how these things work! But I needed to stay calm.

I managed to turn off the water and got out. I threw on my clothes, brushed my teeth, and combed my hair. My hands where shaking a bit as I turned the knob in the door and steeped out into the room. There he was.

**A/N This chapter was a little funny. Thing will start unraveling in the next few chapters. I hope you are enjoying it so far. Tell me what you think. **


	4. Duty

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

Chapter 4

"_He gives nothing but worthless gold_

_Who gives from a sense of duty" – James Russell Lowell, Vision of Sir Launfal –_

He was sitting on the edge of the bed, his feet still on the ground. Both his hands clutching the edge of the mattress. He studied me intently.

"Disappointed?". I asked trying not to smile because it was obvious that my choice in night apparel was not what he was expecting.

"NO! Of course not. You look beautiful as always" He answered quickly, widening his eyes.

"But it isn't what you expected. Right?" I couldn't help it I had to laugh at his expression.

"I…No….I mean. I didn't know what to expect". I had never heard him stammer so much before. It was hilarious!

"What's funny?" now he was getting suspicious.

"The look on your face when I came out was priceless". I has shaking violently, clutching my sides.

He surprised me when he started laughing too. I loved the sound of his laughter. Loved to see him like this; so carefree, so happy.

He extended one of his arms to offer me his hand. I took it and he pulled so that I was standing in front of him between his legs.

"And what are _you_ laughing about?" Still smiling I took his face between my hands and looked into his eyes.

"It's just that your laugh is so contagious. It makes me so happy. I can't help from laughing myself."

He was smiling my favorite crooked smile and looking at me with such love in his eyes that I thought my heart would burst.

I leaned closer to him and kissed him softly on the lips. He returned the kiss. It started out slowly with gentle smiles I between kisses. He looked into my eyes serious now a new intensity in his face. He kissed me, this time longer his lips crushing mine as my mouth molded into his. The urgency started climbing. I wrapped my arms around his neck. He had both his hands on my waist pulling me closer to his chest. He started slowly moving his hands up my back. I broke apart from his lips gasping for air. His lips didn't leave my skin as he swept my hair from my shoulder so that he could have better access to my collarbone. My lungs didn't seem to be able to expand properly.

_I needed to stop him! _I had to tell him what I had decided. Although, he didn't look very scared now.

_NO!_ I needed to keep my head. It was just so hard with him kissing me this way.

He kissed my lips again, pulling me to him as he leaned back to lay on the bed. _Oh…Never mind!_

I knew I had to tell him something, but I couldn't remember what that was!

His fingers were in my hair and he pushed my hair back to look at my face.

_There it was. The fear. Back again._

"Bella" He said in a very low throaty voice. "I promised that we would try, and I will keep my promise. But I ask for one in return" He was being so cautious, like just his words would brake me.

"If I do something wrong. If I hurt you. Promise me that you'll tell me"

I exhaled And laid my face I is chest trying to slow my breathing.

"Edward" I started. "I don't want to do this now".

It took a while for him to digest what I had said and answer.

"Oh. Are you tired? We did have a long journey. You could use some rest. It's fine love, you can sleep".

He was worried about me not getting enough sleep! After I had slept almost the whole way here!

"No. I can't sleep now".

"You want me to sing you to sleep? Maybe it would help".

I should've explained myself better. But I was having a bit of trouble getting the words out.

"No. I meant I'm not sleepy".

"Are you hungry then? I could fix you something if you want. I had the kitchen stoked. A first for this place I might add".

OK! _Just say it you coward!_ I thought to myself. "No Edward. I'm not hungry. What I meant was that…" I stopped. My throat felt suddenly very dry.

"Yes?" He encouraged me. "Tell me love. What is it?" He looked at me inquisitively. "Are you afraid that I will hurt you?" Anguish bathed his whole expression. He looked terrified and resigned at the same time.

"NO! Edward. Of course not! Ugh! THAT. Right there. That look in your eyes. That's why I can't do this. I'm not afraid but I know you are. You are scared to death of loosing your control. I don't want this to be like that".

I waited for his reaction studying his face. All I could see was shock as he took in my words. However that shock was quickly replaced by anger. He suddenly took my face in both his hands and looked deeply into my eyes. His lips pressed together in a straight line.

"Bella. I can't let you do this again. We made a deal. You met your half of the bargain and now it is my turn. I won't go back on my words. I made a promise". His words were flowing out of his lips so quickly that I had to strain to understand them. "This was the one thing you asked for before I change you. Just this one thing! You have given up everything to be with me. I can't let you give this up too!"

What was he talking about?! Given everything up to be with him? If anything I had gained more that I ever dreamed of having and then some. Sure, I would have to say goodbye to Charlie and Renee but I knew in my heart that they would be fine. I would miss them dearly but I could hardly stay with them forever, change or no change. It's how life is. And I would be gaining a wonderful family that I could love too. They would never replace the love of my human family, I would love them both, always. And yes, I would miss my friends too but that separation was inevitable for all humans. Angela and Ben were leaving soon and Jacob…_Jacob_. The memory of the last time I saw him revived the pain in my heart. But I needed to get back to the present. Edward was still looking at me with a grim expression.

"Edward. I have made my choice. Becoming part of your family is what I want most in the world. It is the key to my whole existence with you. And although I will be leaving my family and friends behind". My voice broke a little at the thought of saying my goodbyes. "I feel that I will gain so much more in return for I will be with you; nothing is more important to me than that".

"Why Bella? Why now? Why do you always have to put everybody else's feelings before your own? I'll admit your selflessness is one of the qualities that drove me to you. But when you put my own feelings before your own your just martyr zing your self! I can't have that".

How dare him! "Edward!" I shouted at him sitting on the bed away from him. "I am not trying to be a martyr or anything like that. I am doing this for me as much as for you. You think this is just about you? Get over yourself! How do you think it makes me feel to know that you are only doing this because we made a deal?" I was livid.

"That's not the only reason Bella! You know I want this too!"

"Oh. So you don't have any doubts? You are not scared?"

We both sat there glaring at each other across the bed.

"Yes Bella. I am scared, but…"

"But what?" I interrupted him. "We made a deal?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers and closed his eyes like he always did when he was mad.

"Bella". He whispered

I hated this. Hated the distance between us. We had just gotten married and here we where fighting already. I needed to be close to him. I leaned over and placed my hand on his face. I immediately felt better by the contact.

"Edward please listen to me".

He opened his eyes. "I'm not saying that I don't want this to happen. All I'm saying is that I don't want it like this. I want it to be special for both of us. I trust you completely, but you need to trust yourself too. You are not ready. So until you are. I want us to wait".

He had calmed down now and pressed my hand to his face. "I don't know what to say Bella. I know I can't make you change your mind. You are incredibly stubborn when you want to be. What can I do?"

I smiled. "Well now that you mention it, there is one thing".

"Anything you want love".

"You know your offer before – about making me a snack-? Well I changed my mind. Now I'm hungry".

"Your just trying to distract me" He said smiling. Maybe he hadn't completely gotten over our whole conversation but at least the smile didn't look forced.

"Well Yeah. But I'm also very curious to see what you can come up with". I was really trying to distract him. I wanted to make him happy.

"Alright, let's go to the kitchen". He said taking my hand and pulling me off the bed. As we walked out of the room he stopped by the door to look at me. "You know this is not over right?"

"I know". I'm counting on it. Whenever your ready honey.

**A/N I hope you liked this chapter too. I'm already working on the next one which will be incredible! Here I'll give you a hint, if you can translate this you'll know what will happen: **_**Nunquam non paratus.**_


	5. Necessity

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

Chapter 5

"_Necessity does the work of courage" – George Eliot, Romola __–_

It had been a week since we arrived on the island. It was beautiful. We had gone snorkeling (well, I had snorkeled. Edward just flaunted his ability to go underwater indefinitely) in the coral reefs. We explored the caves and took hundreds of pictures of the lush vegetation and colorful birds that had made the island their home.

A cleaning crew came on the third day of our arrival, and besides the cleaning they also restocked the kitchen. Edward had been doing all the cooking, insisting that I should take a break from kitchen duty since I always did all the cooking for Charlie, and that very soon he would not have a chance to do this for me because I would be changed. I was very impressed by his culinary skills and complimented him about it. He just smiled and said 'Food Network'. _Ha! Got to love him._

Another thing the crew did was bring our mail. I received a cryptic letter from Alice.

_**-**__**"Why do I see you wearing Edward's clothes for bed? **_

_**I packed a whole coordinated wardrobe for you!!**_

_**Have I not taught you anything Bella?!"-**_

**_Alice_**

I flushed a deep crimson at the thought that Alice had been peaking on our honeymoon. I thought about replying back with a threatening letter about how if she kept spying on us I would commit the ultimate crime of fashion and wear white after labor day. But then I rethought about it and decided against it; it was a loosing battle to go against Alice and frankly I was too much of a coward to even try it.

I did get to wear some of the most frightening bathing suits I had ever seen in my life. These itsy bitsy pieces of string were no bigger than a deck of cards. One of these aforementioned suits was a tiny, black, two piece number that consisted of two little triangles to cover my chest and tied around mi neck and back, the bottom was also two geometric pieces, cut low to ride over mi hips and tied with a little bow on each side. I did have the satisfaction of watching Edward's eyes pop open wide when I walked out of the house wearing it. _That's right hon. Think about it!_

I had stuck to my decision like glue. Until Edward was ready I would not press the subject. But much to my disappointment he had not made a move! We kissed all the time but he was always so unnervingly under total control of himself. I loved making out with him, I could do that forever but I was ready to take the next step and wished he would just get over his fears already! We were married, and just the thought of the possibility of fulfilling our vows was enough to make my knees buckle.

However, I was feeling a little more confident with the clothes Alice had picked for me and decided that tonight I would give the lingerie a try. I wasn't trying to torture Edward but I thought he needed a little inspiration. I wouldn't allow myself to feel guilty about it. I'm his wife, and I was woman on a mission!

Today the crew arrived once again and Gustavo –the youngest member- approached us as we lounged on one of the sofas in the living room. He proceeded to hand me a white envelop and a rectangular, brown package. He was all smiles as he gave me the box, muttering something in Portuguese that I had no idea what meant, but by the murderous glare that Edward gave him I could guess it was some sort of compliment. I returned the smile and thanked him. As the man receded to his work Edward snatched the envelope from my hand.

"Hey!" I reprimanded him. "That's mine".

"Nope. Not yours. Ours" He clarified giving me a side glance and lifting his eyebrow. "See? It's addressed to both of us". He held up the envelope out of my reach so that I could read it.

I recognized Alice's handwriting. "It's OK. You go ahead and open it. It's probably another threat. Maybe she laced it with anthrax this time".

Edward started laughing as he tore open one of the sides of the envelope and took out the letter. His smile widened in his face.

"Well? What is it? What does it say?" I asked him.

"Rest assure it's not a threat. It's about what's inside the box".

I waited. He just sat there smiling at me and toying with the box, turning around and around in his hands.

"And?" He just loved to make everything a mystery. I tried to grab the box from him but he was just to fast. _Stupid vampire speed!_

He chuckled. "You'll like it. It's our wedding pictures".

"Oh." I was exited to see how we looked. I knew Edward of course looked perfect all the time, but I was curious to see how we looked together. Alice had done a magnificent job of beautifying me so that I looked my very best.

Edward started ripping out the tape of the box.

"Hmm" he paused. "Maybe we should go on a picnic today and we could see the pictures there".

"Why can't we look at them here?" I said motioning to the sofa.

"Because Gustavo is about to come in here to start cleaning the floors and we'll have to move. Their going to be here for a couple of hours." He stated.

Just then Gustavo entered the room and said something to Edward who replied back in perfect Portuguese motioning to me. I just nodded, I had no idea what he'd said.

Edward looked at me then with a knowing smile. "How about we go somewhere more private? There's a little secluded beach not far from here. We could use one of the small boats from the shed. And the crew will be inside so they won't see me in the sun as we leave. What do you say?"

"OK" I conceded. "I'll go pack some food in case I get hungry". I got up and headed for the kitchen.

It surprised me when Edward snagged me before I could get away and wrapped his arms around my waist lifting me off my feet to give me a passionate kiss on the lips. He placed me on the floor and chuckled into my hair before he walked out the back door to get the boat ready. I didn't know if his giddiness was because of my surprised expression or Gustavo's, who just stood there glued to the floor holding a broom.

Ten minutes later we were on our way to the isolated beach Edward had mentioned. The boat was small and it had no engine. But I guess when you have superhuman strength to lift minivans with one hand, paddling a little boat trough the ocean was a piece of cake. I did think that the speed in which we were moving would bother Edward. He never liked going slow. But he said that he didn't mind as he was in no hurry. He paddled contently over the gentle swells of the ocean looking at me. We got to a small bite shaped inlet that hid a tiny white sand beach. The forest almost engulfed it leaving only a few yards of sand before disappearing completely under the dense vegetation.

Edward jumped out and pushed the boat to the shore. He picked me up and cradled me to his chest so I wouldn't get my dress wet. Since we weren't going swimming I had worn one of Alice's dresses. It was a strapless pale blue cotton dress, with a wide skirt that reached just above the knee. We spread a couple of blankets on the ground and sat down to look at the album.

The rest of the day we spent talking, laying in each others arms while we took in the beautiful view of the ocean. We also collected sea shells that were scattered in the sand. I had eaten lunch when Edward announced that we should be heading back. He took the blankets back to the boat and sited me inside. He pushed the boat to the water and jumped in effortlessly.

I flipped through the album that rested on my lap, absently studying my parent's pictures. They looked so happy standing there beside me. Renee looking exultant as she pretended to fix one of the folds in my veil. Even Charlie was smiling while holding my hands in his. Alice had a lot to do with Charlie's good mood. She had subjected him to hours of fittings while Charlie complained about felling stupid and muttering something about his tuxedo being a monkey suit. But his comments were halfhearted because Alice had a way of charming him and getting him to do just about anything she wanted. When she told him that he looked debonair all dressed up, his face got all red and he couldn't keep a smile from crinkling his eyes.

"Have I told you how beautiful you look today?" Edward said breaking the silence.

"Thank you". I replied.

"What were you thinking? Before. When you were looking at the pictures." His expression was blank, like he was hiding something from me.

"I was just thinking about Renee and Charlie. How happy they look". I answered honestly. Whatever was bothering him couldn't have anything to do with the photos.

"You miss them". He stated.

I had a bad feeling about where this conversation was headed.

Thick clouds appeared out of nowhere fading the color of the ocean. The wind started to pick up a bit. It begun to drizzle and Edward pulled the sculls faster.

"Of course I miss them Edward. Their my parents". I said rolling my eyes at him trying to keep the mood light.

"You don't have to say goodbye to them yet, you know?" He said making his voice a little higher so that I could hear him over the pounding rain that was falling on us now.

"What do you mean Edward? I have to say goodbye now. I can't do that after I'm changed. I think they'll notice a difference in me if I were to suddenly try to kill them. They might get suspicious." I was attempting to keep my rising anger at bay, but failing miserably.

"What I mean Bella is that there is still time. We could go to Dartmouth in the fall and spend Christmas with Renee in Florida. She would love that and I know you would be happy too if you got to spend time with her".

Was he joking? Was this a rerun of all the arguments we had the past year? Maybe he wanted to back out from our deal! NO! Tears started to fall down my face, mixing with the raindrops that splattered on my skin.

"EDWARD!" I shouted. "I'm tired of having this conversation! Why can't you just accept the fact that I have made up mi mind about this! Are you going back on our deal? You promised! After we were married." I couldn't believe what he was saying.

"No Bella. No. I'm not breaking my promise. I just want you to know that you have choices. That I would wait. I don't want you to regret not taking the opportunity to go to college and have a career before your change. I don't want to condemn you to an endless adolescence of having to go to high school every couple of years and never moving forward! YOU _could_ have that freedom Bella! You have options now. But you won't after you're changed. You can never go back!"

We were close to the shore now and I momentarily considered jumping out.

"I know I have options! And yes I have thought about them. But the only choice I want is to spend eternity with you! And yes, I am well aware that the change is irreversible. But if I were to base every decision I make on the fact that I might regret it someday I might as well just huddle myself in a corner and just let life pass me by. I am sure of this Edward Cullen. I don't regret marrying you. And I don't regret choosing this life. I love you Edward. And you are just going to have to respect my judgment. I CHOOSE YOU!"

We had reached the beach and I jumped out. I was soaked to the skin and my dress was sticking to my legs. I turned my back on Edward who was standing on the boat looking at me with an unnameable expression. I just ignored him and started for the house.

"Bella" he called.

I turned to glare at him. "What do you want Edward?

He was in front of me in a flash. His eyes were on fire, they smoldered. One of his hands pressed on the small of my back and the other tangled in my hair. "You". His voice was low and husky. "All of you. Every part. Right now".

He crushed his lips to mine with an eagerness I had not felt before. A fire started burning low and deep inside me, flashing across my skin. It was like an explosion had gone off in my chest, consuming every part of me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and melted into his chest, my feet dangling inches from the ground. Slowly this time he leaned down and lifted me in his arms, his lips moving in the hollow at the base of my throat. He walked at an inhuman speed in the direction of the house. I clutched his shoulders trying go get even closer to him. We were both panting heavily as we reached the porch. Without breaking his stride Edward bounded through the door. His lips pressed under my jaw as he placed me on the floor. I could feel the wall behind me as he pressed against me kissing me with a new urgency. It was passion, lust, but also raw need. I reached the front of his wet shirt and started undoing the buttons. I ran my hands up to his chest until I reached his shoulders. He shuddered the tiniest bit at my touch. I brought my hands down his arms removing his shirt and it dropped to the floor. His hands curled around my rib cage and he swept them back until I felt his finger gently caressing my back as he pulled down the zipper on my dress letting it drop to the floor. His breath came rougher now and he moved his hands down my hips to my thighs. He pulled me up and I swathed my legs around his waist. I brought my lips to his and he started climbing up the stairs to our room. We were still kissing as we flopped to the bed. He was everywhere. His hands moving across my body waking sensations I never knew existed. I don't know what happened to the rest of our clothes; nor did I care. This was the most powerful and beautiful moment of my life. Edward buried his face in my neck and I gasped while I felt a sharp pain as our bodies connected. But the pain started to subside as our tangled bodies moved synchronized to a new rhythm.

The only sounds: our ragged breathing our hushed kisses. Our bodies had become one now, two souls, one heartbeat.

******* **

We lay there next to each other trying to slow our breathing, our hands interlaced.

"I love you". He said bringing our hands up and turning to his side to face me.

"And I love you". I said as I moved to his chest and closed my eyes, falling asleep in his arms.

The sun, hot on the bare skin of my back, woke me in the morning. I could hear Edward humming in the shower. It was the sound of pure bliss. I assembled the white sheets around me and gathered them in my chest. I walked out into the balcony feeling like I was walking in a cloud. All this happiness, all this perfection seemed unreal.

"You are an angel" Edward said from behind me.

I turned. His smile was so beautiful it almost hurt to look at him.

"Good morning". I said smiling back.

He stood behind me and engulfed me in his arms as we looked at rising sun in the horizon. A new beginning.

**A/N As you might have noticed I have used some phrases from the books. This is because I feel that these words express perfectly the feeling that I want my characters to portray. Please if you have suggestions or comments let me hear from you.**


	6. Family

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

Chapter 6

Family

"_Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one". – Jane Howard, Families –_

The plane started to descend toward Seattle's cloud covered sky, and Edward slid the window shut. Funny how our trip back seemed to take only half the time as our way there.

"Were almost there" Edward said, placing a feathery kiss on my forehead.

Our last week in the island had felt like a dream. It was something out of a fairytale. We had barely ventured out of the house and when we did we didn't go far. Instead we had been content with just laying in each other's arms talking or loosing ourselves in this constant fiery passion that was consuming us both.

It was hard to leave our personal paradise and as the plane skidded to a stop at the Sea- Tac airport I felt like I was waking up from a dream and plummeting into reality. Oddly though I was not completely sad. I missed my family, besides I had the most perfect and amazing creature in the world sitting right at my side. Wherever he was that's where my paradise is.

We exited the plane and went to the luggage carrousel to claim our suitcases. Edward, with the intention of remaining inconspicuous, loaded them on a trolley and we headed for the long- term parking garage where he had stored his beloved car. As he turned the key in the ignition, I sighted.

"What is it?" He softly stroked my cheek with his fingertips.

"Nothing, it's just a little hard to be back".

He smiled. "If you want I can turn around right now. I'm sure we could board the next flight out of here, if you want to extend our honeymoon" He was teasing me.

I rolled my eyes. "No, it's not that I don't want to go home. I miss my family but I'll miss the island too. You know, the privacy, not having to hide, no responsibilities".

"I know. I'll miss that too". He agreed. "How about we go back as soon as we can? Make it a second honeymoon. Or maybe I could buy an island that's closer, something off the coast of Nova Scotia. It's closer and we could go more often." He talked about buying island like he was thinking of buying green bananas!

"Edward. I don't want you to go buy an island just so we can get away for a few days! That's crazy, and unnecessary. I will take you up on your offer to go back to Esme's Isle as soon as we can".

He put an arm around my shoulders and drew me closer to him. "Fine. But you know, you should really start getting used to the idea of me giving you things. You are my wife, it's what husbands do".

Oh, in what world was this vampire living in? _'It's what husbands do'_ I didn't even answer, I knew my words would fall on deaf ears. He had insisted for so long to let him buy me a car, that I had relented with the condition that such purchase would only be made when my truck needed replacing. Meaning, that if my truck broke down without the possibility of being fixed; he could proceed to buy me a car. He didn't seem too happy about that but that was my final offer, take it or leave it. So he grudgingly agreed. And since my truck was still working perfectly –well it was still running- I did not have to worry about that for now.

I remember the last time my truck had needed to be repaired. Jacob fixed it for me. I could remember his face so clearly. That smile that lit up his face, his laugh. I hadn't heard from him since our last conversation, after the fight with the newborns and Victoria. That was the last image I had of him laying in his bed, his whole body broken while I broke what was left of his heart. The memory of that day was embedded in my mind. How I had realized that I loved him and caused him so much pain, because that realization meant that I couldn't be part of his life anymore. I had been a fool to think that I could keep him with me forever, and an even greater fool thinking that I only loved him as a friend. You don't give up your friends when you are in a relationship with someone. You do however give up your other romantic interests. If I had admitted what Jacob had become for me, I could have saved a lot of people all this hurt.

"We're home" Edward said taking my hand and pressing it to his lips.

The lights were on inside the house. Edward grabbed the trunks and opened the front door for me. In keeping with my true self I tripped as soon as I set one foot inside the house. Edward caught me around the waist before my face hit the floor but I could already hear sneers coming from the living room. I looked up and saw my humongous bear of a brother bending over form laughter.

"Nice" He said

"Hello Emmett" I said annoyed.

He came closer and added with a grin. "I've missed you little sis. That was quite an entrance. You know, I'm thinking of installing a ramp. It would make the landing easier."

He kept laughing and I could hear the others joining in making me blush a beet red.

"Bella dear" Esme said approaching us and throwing her arms around me to give me a motherly hug.

"Son" I heard Carlisle say to Edward beside me. "Nice to have you back. I hope you found everything in order at the island" He padded Edward on the back; Edward nodded and beamed at him.

"Yeah, did you two enjoy yourselves?" Emmett said taking Edward's arm and wiggling his eyebrows like a villain in a vaudeville.

"Shut the hell up Emmett" Edward retorted, but I could see he was still smiling at his mischievous brother.

"Wow, what did you do to him Bella? You've corrupted my brother, his even cursing now" Emmett said in mock horror making my face all hot.

"OK. OK. My turn" Alice screeched as she bounded into me almost knocking me backwards. "Oh, I've missed you so much!" She started pulling me towards the couch. "Did you like the album? What did you think? Esme and I had so much fun putting it together" She was talking so fast I couldn't get a word in edgewise.

"Yes Alice, we loved it" I said interrupting her, and turned to Esme. "Thank you Esme it was lovely"

"You're welcome dear. I'm glad you enjoyed it"

Jasper had been standing at the bottom step of the stairs smiling at his wife as she bounced up and down on her place in the couch.

"How are you Jasper?" I asked felling a little guilty for not noticing him before. Edward stepped close to him and outstretched his arms to greet him.

"Good" He said quietly. "Alice has been driving me insane since you left. Now that the wedding buzz is over, I think she's had too much free time on her hands" He winked at her. "She's been having shopping withdrawals. You don't know how glad I am that you came back".

Alice stuck her tong out at him; making us all laugh. "And, where is Rosalie?" I asked glancing around the room. I was not exactly surprised not seeing her there. I knew that although she had been warming up to me since the engagement, she still was not sold on the idea of me becoming a vampire. But I was already determined to go through with my decision so she would just have to get used to seeing me as a sister. She'd have an eternity for that.

"I'm here" She said coming down the stairs looking like a super model waltzing down the runway. She gave Edward a peck on his cheek and leaned over to give me a hug. "How are you sister? Great to have you home."

Wow. I was shocked. Maybe I had been too hard on her. She looked sincerely happy to see me. She walked around the sofa to stand next to Emmett.

"So, Bella" Emmett begun. "What did you think of the house? comfortable huh?"

I wondered where he as going with this, but knowing Emmett it couldn't be anywhere good. I was starting to feel very nervous.

"Yeah" I said tensely. "It was very nice"

I could feel Edward quaking with silent laughter at whatever Emmett was thinking.

"Well I'm just glad you made it back in one piece. You have to admit it was a close call with that possessed shower intent on killing you" That threw him over the edge and he clutched his sides laughing. Everybody started laughing too and I tried to hide my face in Edward's chest, but he seemed as amused as them. I smacked his arm reproachfully.

"Sorry love" He said trying to regain his composure. "That was pretty funny".

My own husband had betrayed me! "Edward, how could you tell them?" I asked.

"It wasn't me! Alice saw it in a vision." He pointed a finger accusingly at my fairy of a sister.

I turned to face her. "If you saw it in a vision, you knew it was going to happen. Why didn't you call to warn me?" I demanded.

"Oh Bella, don't be mad, I saw it by accident. And it was so funny I couldn't bring myself to call you". She said giggling.

"Great" I said. "Good to know that my clumsiness entertains you"

"Oh come on Bella" Emmett interceded still trembling with hilarity. "When you live for as long as we have there's not much that you'd find amusing. What else is there?"

"Fine" I said giving up. There was no point in fighting it. Let them have their laugh at my expense. Once I was turned and my clumsiness subsided, their fun would be over.

Alice turned to me then with new excitement written across her elfin face. "Bella we have so much to do. We have to start getting you ready for school. I thought we could go shopping for new clothes tomorrow".

"What?" Emmett said. "We're going to Dartmouth? I thought it would be at least a year after Bella was changed".

"Well" Edward said looking at me for approval to continue. "Bella has decided to wait a little and give college a try, at least for one semester."

I had determined to give collage a chance, and wait until Christmas for my transformation. Charlie and Renee would be thrilled to hear Dartmouth stories (not to mention Edward), and besides now that I had experienced how wonderful being a human could be, I was not ready to give that up yet.

"Oh Bella, you are going to love New Hampshire they have fabulous malls and boutiques! But we need to get ready, time is of the essence." Alice couldn't contain her glee.

"When are we leaving?" Jasper interjected looking at Edward.

"I don't know" He answered seeking Carlisle's advice.

"Well we still have time before the semester starts; we could get things in order here. We already have a house there and I'm sure I'll be able to find work quickly enough. But we should give Bella sometime to say goodbye to Charlie". Carlisle said waiting for me to answer. It was incredible how they counted me as part of the family. I could feel my heart swell.

"I'll drop by Charlie's tomorrow".

"Great" Carlisle said. "I'll start making the arrangements.

With that he and Esme excused themselves and headed upstairs to their study.

"Promise me that we'll go shopping this week". Alice said with an insane look in her eyes.

"Don't let her take me!" I said dramatically grabbing a fistful of Edward's shirt.

He chuckled. "Don't worry, I'll protect you"

"Good luck" Jasper snickered.

"Don't think I've forgotten that you didn't even wear all the clothes I packed for you Bella. You owe me" Alice threatened as I cowered against Edward.

"Could this wait until tomorrow Alice? It's been a long day, Bella needs her rest" Edward defended me from his minuscule sister. "Do you want to go to sleep now? Love".

"Um, yes I'm pretty tired"

"Yeah right, _sleep_" Emmett said elbowing Jasper in the ribs. Rosalie giggled beside him.

We ignored Emmett's innuendo and said goodnight as Edward carried me upstairs to our room. I wasn't very tired so I went to take a shower. After I was done I slipped into one of Edward's shirts and got into bed, resting my head in his shoulder while he cradled me in his arms.

"You don't have to go you know; if you don't want to" He said.

"Go where?"

"Shopping with Alice. I know how demanding she can be and I know you hate shopping" He said kissing my forehead.

"HA!" We both heard Alice scoff downstairs, making me flinch.

"Yeah right, like I have a choice" I grunted.

He held me tighter and I yawned, I hadn't realized how tired I was.

"Good night love"

"Night, love you" I closed my eyes.

"Love you too" Was the last thing I heard as I drifted to sleep.

**A/N I've already written the next too chapters, but I will not post them until I buff them up a little bit, also I usually write them on a notebook first, because that I can carry with me and I never know when inspiration will find me. So now all I have to do is type them in my computer. I'm a little disappointed by the poor reaction this story has had, only ****four reviews! – By the way thank you to those who have taken the time to do so- To those that review (you know who you are) I will forward the next chapter title and the first few opening lines.**


	7. Absence

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

Chapter 7

Absence

"_It so falls out,_

_That what we have we prize not the worth_

_Whiles we enjoy it; but being lacked and lost,_

_Why, then, we reck the value"_

_- William Shakespeare, Much ado about Nothing -_

I was so glad to see Jacob again. We had ended up walking along the beach. He looked happy! I hadn't seen him this happy in a long time. There was a new gleam in his eyes. When he smiled his whole face lit up like a light was shining from within him. Suddenly he froze. "What's wrong Jake? What is it? I asked concerned as I saw his hands curl into fists. I reached my hand up and placed it in his face trying to calm him down. He started shaking, the vibrations making his hair fly across his face. He was about to phase, and I was dangerously close to him! "Shhh, It's OK. Jake! Tell me what's wrong" I was getting desperate. I couldn't see the reason for his reaction and he wasn't looking at me. When he did I took a step back and gasped. His eyes were a brilliant crimson red. _How could this be? What happened?_! I heard a growl coming from behind me and I stumbled as I turned to run. I felt a huge weight knock me down. Then, I heard him "**BELLA! NOO**!" Edward was screaming. I wanted to run to him but someone was holding me down. I couldn't breath! Growls erupted all around me and I kept trying to struggle against my captor. Suddenly everything was silent, I couldn't even hear the ocean. _What had happened? Where had everyone gone?_ A thick cloud of smoke started to rise, covering the sky. I recognized it at once. _NOO!_ I could see Jacobs form standing by me, his eyes glowing. The smoke covered everything throwing the whole world into darkness.

I woke up gasping for air, I could feel Edward's cold hands on my face brushing my hair back.

"Shhh! Bella, it's OK love, it was just a dream, I'm here" He said frantically attempting to calm me.

"Oh, Edward" I threw my arms around him bawling.

"Don't cry love, it's over now, you're safe. Take deep breaths" He offered as he held me, cradling me like a small child.

I tried to do as he said, inhaling his beautiful scent. It helped immediately and I regained control of my sobs.

"Are you better now" Concern colored his voice. I just nodded I couldn't open my mouth to speak yet. "Do you want to talk about it? It might make you feel better"

"No" I said my voice shaking a little.

"That's fine, if you don't want to talk now. You gave me quite a scare, I've never seen you have such vivid dreams" His tone was anguished.

"I'm better now" I said finding my voice. "It was just a bad dream" _A horrible nightmare_, but I wasn't about to tell him about it and make him worry about his wife loosing her mind. He kept rocking us back and forward until my body relaxed.

After I had calmed down, I got ready for the day and had breakfast in the huge unused kitchen. Edward was taking me over to Charlie's so I could get my truck that had been parked in front of the house since the day before the wedding. Charlie opened the door before we even made it to the front porch.

"Bells" He said giving me a quick hug. "I've missed you kiddo. How's married life treating you?"

"I'm great dad" I said walking inside the house.

"That's good to hear" He said then turning around to Edward that had been standing on the doorstep. "How's my son in law? I see you've been taking good care of my little girl"

"Yes sir, that is my purpose" Edward was always so polite and formal.

"Well I'm glad. Come in, have a sit" Charlie said leading us to the living room.

"Thank you Charlie, but I really must get going. I have a few errands to run and Carlisle is expecting me back at the house" Edward explained giving me his crooked smile. He was letting me know that he was giving me privacy to talk to Charlie.

"Oh, OK then, say hello to your folks for me"

"Of course" He turned to me and gave me a chaste kiss. "See you at home, if you need anything call me, I'll have my phone with me"

"Kay, love you" I said from the door as he walked to the car. He turned around and winked at me smiling. "Love you too. Be safe"

After he had driven off I closed the door to face Charlie, I pulled his arm and led him to the kitchen. "So dad, What have you been up to?"

"Oh, not much, mostly work. It's been kind of slow. Just an accident on the 110 to La Push the other day, one of those big logging trucks flipped over; caused a mayor road block, tore up a good chunk of the pavement with it….."

_Why was he babbling?_ He looked nervous.

"…….other than that not much"

I got up and decided to inspect the kitchen, I was sure by now there'd be no food left in the house and I'd made up my mind to replenish his supplies before I left for Dartmouth. I didn't want for him to starve. I opened the refrigerator and was shocked to see that it was full. Not only that, but there must have been at least five Tupperware containers full of food and labeled for different days of the coming week. Charlie sensing my astonishment cleared his throat.

"Oh…er…those are Sue's. You know, Sue Clearwater, you remember her?" He said studying his feet.

"Of course I remember Sue. Edward is good friends with her son; Seth" I said.

"Oh, yeah"

He was actually blushing, it made me want to smile, I could already feel the corners of my mouth twitching up, but I wasn't going to pry. I was however incredibly grateful that Sue had taken it upon herself to take care of Charlie. Maybe after I left he wouldn't be alone. "Well that's nice of her, I thought you would've starved by now"

"Hey, for your information young lady, I took care of myself for seventeen years before you moved back here and I think I fended pretty well" he said crossing his arms in his chest and jutting his lower lip stubbornly.

"Yeah right" I said teasing him. "You need a recipe to make ice cubes"

"HA, good one" He laughed. "Oh Bells, I've really missed you"

"I know dad, I've missed you too. Done any good fishing lately?" I asked

"Nah, I don't have anybody to go with, and I hate fishing alone" He said dejectedly

"How about Billy? You too used to go all the time"

"Billy has been felling ill lately; his diabetes is affecting him a lot" He said concerned.

"Oh, that's too bad. I'll make sure to drop by and see if he needs anything. It must be really hard for him, now that Jacob isn't around, to be all alone in the house." I had a brief flashback of the dream I had last night, but put it out of my mind promptly, Jake would never hurt me. No matter how upset he was by my decision.

"He's not alone. I didn't tell you, Jacob is back"

_What? Jacob came back?_ Relief and sorrow washed over me. Relief, because he was back. Sorrow, because I knew it wouldn't change a thing.

Charlie noticed my surprise.

"He showed up about two days after the wedding. I must say I expected Billy to give him a hard time for taking off like that, but Billy was happy as ever"

"Have you seen him? How is he?" I tried to sound indifferent.

"He's pretty good actually" He said with caution, I guess I wasn't fooling him. "I saw him a few days back, he looked happy. I hadn't seen him like that in a while so maybe it was a good thing he took some time off. It must be hard loosing his mother when he was so young and then having to take care of his dad. He's been carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders for a long time"

He kept on talking and I nodded here and there not really paying attention. Jake was happy. At least that's how it seemed to Charlie. Hope flooded my heart. Maybe he would forgive me for all the hurt I had cost him. No. I couldn't let myself think that he would forgive me. But at least he was happy and I couldn't ask for more.

I made burgers for lunch and cleaned up a bit for Charlie. He was in an unusually chatty mood. I sat on the little recliner chair in the living room and folded towels while Charlie watched a game on TV.

"Did I tell you Jacob has a new girlfriend?" He said when the commercials came on. I dropped the towel I had been folding. "Yeah" he continued "Met her the other day when I was up at Billy's. Think her name is Lizzie, pretty little thing, all freckly. Anyway, she's been helping Jake take care of Billy and Jake looks crazy about her" He gave me a furtive glance.

So that's what had brought on the change in Jacob. Had he imprinted? I was determined to find out, even if he didn't want to hear from me. I still cared about him, he was my best friend.

"You did the right thing kiddo" Charlie said when I didn't comment. "You don't have to worry about him anymore, he's fine now"

"Mmhmm" Was my brilliant reply. The commercials where over and Charlie went back to his game.

Wow. Jake was in love. I should be happy about him. Then why did I feel like I had lost something very important to me. I had. But I had lost it a long time ago. I was genuinely happy for him, but that didn't change the fact that I had lost his friendship. And although I might one day earn his forgiveness I would never regain his trust.

**A/N First of all I would like to thank those of you who have taken the time to review, especially twilightgal101 for reviewing and encouraging me to continue**** writing, that means a lot. The next chapter is by far the longest I've written to date and I'm really exited about it (I cried when I was writing it!). Also I would like to say that from now on I will try to space the updates I do to maybe once a week? So that I can update every week instead of you getting about three in a row and then none for some time. I don't know, tell me what you think.**


	8. Dusk

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N This is by far the longest chapter I've written to date. It's also my favorite up to this point. I will like to point out that the real action in this chapter is almost at the very end but I hope you give it a chance and that you'll be able to enjoy the other parts as well.**

Chapter 8

Dusk

"_Did you stand __outside yesterday at dusk?_

_Heaven burned green and washed purple to the Earth._

_All things were charged with the electricity of sun beneath the thickening coolness of sleep. Thunder tumbled across the cosmos bouncing from wisps of rainbow to clouds painted with hellfire as trees receded into silhouettes. All things were there, all things as close, as distant, as inseparable as day and night. In these fleeting moments when dark velvet night and fiery red day touch, all things are almost possible, or almost inevitable?"_

_-__Paul Cantrell, Dusk –_

After I said goodbye to Charlie, I got in my truck to head home. I jammed the key in the ignition: _click_ nothing _click_ still nothing. I popped the hood and got out, what was I looking for? I couldn't tell, maybe a flashing arrow pointing to the problem. Urg! I got my phone out and called Edward. I didn't want to go back inside, afraid Charlie would try to fix it and damage it beyond repair, so I sat down on the curb and moped.

Edward showed up a few minutes later and gave the innards under the hood a quick glance. He said that he would have Rosalie take a look at it. I gave it a little pad on it's rusty door and went home in the Volvo, I pouted all the way.

When we got home we sat on the porch steps to chat for a while.

"How was your day?" he began

"Good, Charlie seems to be taking care of himself" I told him about how Sue had been making diner for him and how I thought that maybe there was something more to it than friendship. It took me off guard when he chuckled.

"I ran into Seth today" He said

"Oh, and what did he tell you?"

"Not much, well not intentionally anyway, I did 'hear' that his mom and Charlie have been seeking each others company more often lately. Sue's recent good mood seems to be connected to Charlie's visits. Seth is happy for them, he's a good person, his mind is a great place to be" He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"Did Seth tell you Jacob is back?" I didn't think he would've 'intentionally' tell him, but neither did I think it was a secret because Charlie knew, Jacob wasn't hiding, he had no need for that.

"Yes, he did mention it" He looked a little evasive, but I could see something like the trace of a smile fighting to form in the corner of his mouth.

I bit my lip.

He sighted. "I'm not sure if I should be the one delivering this news, but I know how stubborn you are and you won't relent until I tell you" he said rolling his eyes at me and smiling. "Jacob is in love. Not only that, he has imprinted"

_Imprinted!_ "Is he happy?" I asked fighting to swallow the tight ball that had formed in my throat.

"Yes, he's happy" He said sweeping my hair back and kissing me sweetly on my cheek. "Her name is Lizzie. He met her in a park in Tacoma, he had changed back to his human form because he had intended to come back but the voices from the pack where to overwhelming for him at the moment so he just ran trough and when he got close to Tacoma he phased back. He started walking through the park, that's when he saw her, the pull of the imprint is amazing."

He stared at the sky, his brow furrowed in wonderment.

"Do you think he'll want to talk to me? If I call him. That he'll forgive me?" I said so low it was barely more than a whisper.

"Bella, he has nothing to forgive. I think he understands now, things could be different between you two, perhaps you could regain the friendship you shared once" He had placed his arm on my shoulder and gave me a little squeeze holding me closer to him.

"Lets go inside it's getting very cold and I don't want you getting sick" He said taking my hand and lifting me of the porch steps.

I got ready for bed and when I got out of the bathroom my own Greek god was waiting for me in our bed, his arms wide opened. I still had to remind myself to breath every time I saw him like this, I took a deep breath and laid beside him to nuzzle his neck.

"So if Rosalie can't fix the truck tomorrow would you like to go look for a replacement with me?" He said stroking my hair.

"_If_. If Rosalie can't fix the truck" I clarified.

"Right" he simply said.

"What makes you think she won't be able to fix it? It's a very sturdy truck" I stated unworried.

"It's ancient" he mocked widening his eyes.

"Whatever, it's a classic" I said sticking up my nose proudly

He laughed "Fine. But you promised to let me buy you a car once the truck gave out" He said tapping my nose with his index finger. "I was thinking maybe a nice sturdy SUV. The new Mercedes Benz has gotten great reviews."

"Ugh! Edward, I don't want an SUV, I'm not running around Kenya to bag a cheetah" I whined.

"OK. OK" he was enjoying this way to much. "How about a little Audi coupe or maybe a comfortable Mercedes sedan?"

"NO. Nothing expensive. I don't…." He didn't let me finish. He planted a kiss on my lips making it impossible for me to speak. But I did try.

"…want"

Kiss

"…anything"

Kiss

"…expensive"

Kiss

"…urg!"

Kiss

I climbed on his stomach and held his arms at his sides glaring at him. I knew that not even in my wildest dreams was I strong enough to hold him down, but I just wanted to get m point clear. Something about my expression must've been funny to him because he started laughing very loudly, shaking the whole bed and making my head bob up and down.

"You are so adorable" He said with some effort. "Like a kitten that believes it's a tiger"

I couldn't be mad at him. I loved when he laughed like that, so I wanted to prolong his laughter. I bent down over his chest and pressed my lips to his shoulder.

"Bella?" he said surprised

I sat back up looking at him innocently. "What?"

"Did you just bite me?" He said amusement written all over his face.

"Yep" I answered smugly.

"Why did you do that?" he said smiling.

"Well I figure if I turn you into a human; you wouldn't be so strong and you wouldn't be able to get away with half the things you do now" I said crossing my arms across my chest defiantly.

It worked, he began laughing again, the vibrations shaking the whole room and I laughed with him. He took my face between his hands and pulled me to him, kissing my lips as a smile played on his.

"I adore you" He said kissing me again, this time slower and more seriously. My heartbeat picked up instantly. He angled my head up and started kissing my neck. Already I couldn't breath right.

Suddenly there was a loud knock on the door, I jumped and would've fallen of the bed if Edward hadn't been holding me.

"Go away Emmett" Edward growled. He held me tighter and gently rolled over to hold himself carefully on top of me, his lips never leaving my skin.

"Is everything OK in there? We thought we heard a bear choking and Bella seems to be having a heart attack" we heard him say from the other side of the door. I felt blood color my face and Edward direct a more feral growl at the door. Emmett must've gotten the hint because I couldn't hear him anymore and Edward kept kissing me trailing his hands on my shirt and starting to undo the buttons. But I hadn't gotten over my embarrassment and I caught his hands as they moved to the third button.

"Edward, I can't"

"What do you mean?" He started skimming his nose across my jaw line all the way up to my ear and back.

"Everyone can hear us" I whispered. I was suddenly hyper aware of the six vampires downstairs and their super sensitive hearing.

"So?" He said sending a gust of cold breath against my skin as his lips moved in the hollow at the base of my throat. "You're my wife and I your husband. We're not doing anything wrong"

"Yes I know, but I feel a little exposed" I said trying to make him understand.

He growled but rolled off me to lay by my side. "Thanks a lot Emmett" he said pinching the bridge of his nose. We heard laughter from downstairs.

"Sorry" I murmured.

"It's fine love" He said cradling me to his chest. "It's not your fault I have an intrusive, blithering idiot for a brother"

"HA" Emmett retorted from downstairs.

Edward sighted "Good night love" He started humming my lullaby and I quickly fell asleep in his arms.

First thing in the morning I went looking for Rosalie to ask about my truck.

"Sorry Bella, but the ignition is not working and having the part built would cost more than the whole truck" She said matter of fact.

_Gasp__, my truck!_

"It's alright love" Edward said coming up from behind and wrapping his arms around my waist. "I have something that I think might cheer you up"

"Really? Do you have a new ignition for my truck?" I answered sarcastically.

"No" he chuckled. "I have something better, come outside and see"

Oh I could only shudder at the thought of what that something could be. As we passed Alice I couldn't help but notice the meaningful look she gave Edward. He sighted. I braced myself. There parked in front of the house was a shiny black four door sedan and although I didn't know anything about cars I could bet this thing cost more than Charlie's house.

"What the hell is this?" I said pointing at the car as if it was insulting me.

"It's a Mercedes Guardian, and it's yours" He said with a sheepish smile trying to conjure up a positive reaction from me.

"When did you get this? My truck stopped working yesterday, and I told you I didn't want anything expensive, this thing must cost a fortune!" I was flabbergasted.

"I had it tucked away in the garage, just in case. Good thing too because I don't think you were too keen on the idea of car shopping, and I didn't buy it; it's a loan. I did buy you a car but that's for after you are changed, this one is safer for now"

"Gah!" Was my only answer as I turned around to go back inside. I did hear Alice mutter an 'I told you so' and Edward heave a sigh with frustration. Emmett was standing by the door laughing.

"Didn't like the car. Huh little sis'?"

I glared at his pleasure from my annoyance, but he continued.

"Well, you know you could punish him for sneaking behind your back like that. Rose does that to me all the time. You could get back at him by not having….."

" EMMETT!" Edward shouted from outside before he could finish. My face flushed red like a stop light.

Emmett was bent over with laughter. "Oh no wait" he said between peals. "Too late, you already did that! I must say you're using all your ammo too quickly" The big idiot was about to start rolling on the floor. So I headed for the stairs but I caught a glimpse of a white blur as it knocked him to the floor.

"Ow! Yeesh. What a grouch bro. I think someone needs to get some…."

Another thud.

"Ow"

I ignored them and went up to our room. Edward gave me some space to cool down and didn't join me. Smart choice.

About a half hour later he poked his head around the door. "Still mad?"

"Yep" I said keeping my eyes on the book I was pretending to read.

He came to kneel in front of the couch, facing me. "Please, please forgive me. It wasn't my intention to cross you" He said unleashing the full force of his eyes on me. My heart skipped a beat.

"Fine, I won't be mad."

He smiled triumphantly.

I held up one finger before he could call it a victory. "With one condition. You promise to inform me next time you intend to give me something that's value surpluses the national debt" I tried to sound firm but failed miserably.

"Ok. I promise" He conceded kissing my hands. "I also came up here to tell you that if you don't have plans for today; Rose, Esme, Jasper, and I, were thinking about going hunting"

I traced the dark circles under his pitch black eyes. He really needed to hunt.

"Of course, go ahead. You haven't hunted in a while. My husband needs to be better fed" I said encouragingly.

He kissed me again, this time on my lips. "Very well then, we'll be back before twilight" He surrounded me in his strong arms, pressing me against the couch and delivering a most passionate kiss. "Look after my heart" He said as he left the room.

I was surprised when I heard music floating up the stairs so I went down to investigate. Emmett and Alice were twirling gracefully around the living room where the furniture had been pushed back against the walls, to make an improvised dance floor. The beautiful sound of their laughter was mixing with the music. I was having a wonderful time just watching them from my position by the newel post, when Carlisle suddenly appeared next to me and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Ah" He said "Sinatra" The way you look tonight started playing on the expensive sound system.

"Join us" Alice screeched with excitement.

I just nodded my head and cowered behind the post.

"May I have this dance?" Carlisle said taking my hand.

"Oh Carlisle I'm a terrible dancer" I protested.

"Nonsense" he said leading me to the impromptu dance floor. "You just need a good teacher"

He started leading and I had to admit that I was actually having a great time. Dancing with Carlisle was as easy as dancing with Edward, he did all the work. I saw a light flash and turned around to catch Alice aiming at us with a silver digital camera. Emmett stood behind her attired in what I could only assume was some kind of very old smoking jacket and top hat. I started laughing and Carlisle dipped me, bringing on another flash from the camera.

Emmett came up to us with a saucy grin in his mischievous face. "May I cut in?" he said.

"Of course" Carlisle responded taking a step back, ever the gentleman. But as Carlisle released my hand, Emmett grabbed him around the waist and proceeded to try to spin him. Alice and I shook with laughter, and she snapped another picture.

We spent the rest of the morning goofing around like this as Alice and Emmett took countless pictures. After I ate lunch, we went back to the now normally arranged living room to look at the pictures in the huge plasma TV. Just then the rest of the family arrived and joined us. There was a picture of Alice and I hugging each other, with the sides of our faces pressed together. One of Carlisle, with his arms around Alice and me. We all laughed at one where Emmett had Alice and me sitting on his flexed arms, one on each side, me wearing the ridiculous top hat and Alice beaming from the inside of the smoking jacket that seemed to be drowning her.

I looked at my Greek god of a husband. His cheeks slightly flushed and his eyes the most beautiful shade of honey gold from the recent hunt. He was beaming with joy as he looked at me.

"I'm happy you had a good time while I was away. Although, I have to admit I'm a little jealous; you never want to dance with me" he said with mock indignity.

"As long as we keep the dancing inside the house and between us; I have no problem with it" I said jokingly.

"I might take you up on that offer" he said brushing my lips, but before he could kiss me his phone started vibrating in his pocket. He looked at the number before answering.

"Seth?" he said. He tensed, his expression turning to a mask of fake calmness automatically. I felt my body turn rigid like I had been dowsed with ice cold water. "I'm so sorry" he continued, looking away from me "Yes, I will tell her"

I was already felling the panic building up. "What is it Edward?"

"Calm down" he said placing his hands on my shoulders "Jacob called Seth. Billy passed away"

I felt as if a frigid string had wrapped it self around my insides as was now being pulled out painfully trough the skin of my midsection. "Oh! Edward. Poor Billy. And Jacob. Oh! And what about Charlie? Does he know?"

"Charlie doesn't know yet. Seth thought it would be best if you told him. But if you don't feel well enough, I could call him"

"No, I'll tell him. But first I must see Jacob. He must be devastated" I said desperately trying to reach for the door.

"Love, are you sure you'll be able to drive in this condition?" he said blocking my way "Maybe I should drive you"

"No" I said "No Edward, I must go by myself it will be easier this way"

"I don't know" he said doubtfully, examining my face to make sure I was stable enough to drive.

"Edward please! He's my best friend, I owe him this much"

"Fine" he surrendered quietly "But take the Volvo you're not familiar with the Guardian yet, and promise to call me as soon as you get there"

"I promise" I said taking the keys he was offering me.

He kissed me. "Be safe"

"I will" I said going out the door before he had a chance to see the tears I had been holding back start falling down my face.

I couldn't even find the buckle for my seat belt before I started bawling as I made my way through the winding drive way. What would happen to Jake now? How would he be able to take care of himself? I could barely see the road as I took the 110 to La Push, the tears streaming down like waterfalls; blinding me. I hated the thought of Jake living in the old house all by himself. I lowered the window hoping the fresh air would help me clear my head. I needed to be strong for him. I couldn't let him see me like this. _If he want to see me at all. _The thought of his anguished face brought on a new wave of hysteria. I wiped the tears from my face with the back of my hand. I saw an orange flash come out of nowhere. It crashed on the hood of the car, instinctively I stepped on the brakes. The whole right side of the car seemed to lift in the air. It only took a second. I had tried to go around the orange object and suddenly I was flying, the whole world turning upside down over and over again. I felt myself going out the window as if an invisible force was pulling me from the car. Something collided with me, knocking the air out of my lungs. As quickly as it begun; it stopped. I felt the wet ground under me but I couldn't move! I couldn't breath! All I could see was smoke coming from somewhere close by.

"Bella?" A familiar voice screamed from afar. As the voice got closer I recognized it. Jacob.

"Bella! Oh Bella. Oh no!" I could see him now, his face contorted in agony, his eyes red rimmed with the tears already shed and new ones wearing a path down his face. I wanted to comfort him, to hold him in my arms like I used to do when he still regarded me as a friend, to tell him everything will be alright. But, I couldn't. I couldn't make the air travel to my lungs so that I could form the words I so desperately wanted to say. It was as if the very air that surrounded me had materialized into a huge boulder pressing on my chest. I could faintly make out dark silhouettes around us and heard someone say 'Edward come quickly' but I couldn't make out the rest of the words. _Edward_ my love, what had I done? I had to keep trying to breath, for him! I couldn't loose him now. I would not give up. He counted on me and I couldn't let him down, but the air was so thick, I couldn't inhale it in. I was so tired. _Keep fighting!_ The pain was fading. I heard another sound. The sound of my angel calling me.

"**NO**! Oh no, BELLA, no!" he cried in horror "No, _PLEASE_! Bella, my love, my _LIFE_! NO" Edward sobbed tearless broken sobs as he knelt over me. "Carlisle!" he called "_Do something_!"

I felt cold hands probing me, momentarily flaring the pain. "I'm sorry son" I heard him whisper. "There's nothing I can do"

"**NO**! There **HAS** to be something! Try _anything_!" He said screaming in torture. "Bella love! Please. _Please_! _**DON'T LEAVE ME**_! I love you." His voice broke with his lamented wails.

I couldn't take it any more. His anguished pleas where breaking my very soul apart. I tried to tell him to stop, to calm down everything was going to be fine. The sound got caught up in my throat making me cough, it tasted like blood.

"What are you waiting for LEECH?" Jacob shouted "Save her!"

"Son, you must do it! Before it's too late" Carlisle pressed urgently.

"I'm sorry Bella! _I'm sorry_!" Edward said in a mournful cry.

But I couldn't see him. Dusk was setting in my eyes sending everything into darkness.

"BELLA, PLEASE!" he called from far away "Keep your heart beating. My love. My life. _**My SOUL**_!" he begged in a lamented scream.

Then all was silent.

**A/N The part with Bella, Carlisle, Emmett, and Alice dancing and taking the pictures might not be a crucial part to the story, but I've had those images in my head for some time now and I just wanted to transfer them to "paper"****. Also if you have any questions referring to this (or any other) chapter please review or PM me I will gladly answer them. If you notice where Bella had the accident, maybe you'll remember Charlie mentioning something about that road on an earlier chapter. I'm also on the look out for a good beta so if you're interested or know of someone let me know. **


	9. Leadership

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N This chapter contains quotes from Breaking Dawn, however, I assure you that the use of said quotes in no way interferes with the plot of this story; I only used them as a descriptive aid in certain scenes. ****Also, no copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 9

Leadership

"_He who cannot agree with his enemies is controlled by them"_

_- Chinese Proverb -_

**JACOB**

I heard the screeching of wheels and the thundering crash that followed. Before the noise had died away, I was already running. It had been close, well, close enough for my hearing and imperceptible, to the other less sensitive ears of the common humans that had gathered in the now cramped space of my father's living room.

It was almost a welcomed distraction. I don't think I could've handled another round of sympathy and condolences, brought on by my father's passing. I wasn't in denial. I had felt loss before.

I was just a kid when my mother died, but that didn't mean that I was oblivious to the pain that surrounded my whole family; to the tears I saw in my sister's faces, to the vacant look in my father's eyes.

No. This pain was not new to me. That look of emptiness that had been plastered on my father's eyes, after mom died; had been copied in my own not too long ago. It was the look of someone who had lost all hope of being whole again. It was the look Bella had when she showed up for the first time at my place, carrying two rusty old bikes in the bed of the pick up truck. The look she had everyday, after Edward had left her. It was the same look that she conjured in me, when she chose him.

A look that had now left my face because it has been replaced by something so powerful, so great, that it left no space for anything else. Love. It had interlaced with every part of my existence, with my very soul. All it took was just one look into the endless green pools in Lizzie's eyes. I could loose myself in them forever, drowning in the sensation, letting it posses me completely. She was the only comfort I looked for. The only one I needed. As long as I had her, I could live through anything else.

It only took me a matter of seconds to get there. Even in my human form, I was much faster than an average man. I could even hear the sound of some of my fellow pack brothers as they started to follow.

What I saw, knocked the wind right out of me, like I had been punched in the gut. I recognized the now turned over, mangled silver car, as soon as I saw it. The wheels were still turning aimlessly in the air, and a thick column of smoke was rising from the engine, as the oil dripped into the manifold. I knew there was no vampire inside it because, it was about fifty yards inside the boundary line, and I would've smelled it a mile away.

As I heard the weakening sound of a beating heart, everything in my head clicked at once.

"Bella?" I screamed before I even got to the wreck.

Nothing. No experience I had ever had, could've prepared me for what I saw next; the faces, contorted in agony, of the newborns I had killed, could've been a beautiful sight, compared to the disfigured body that lay at my feet.

"Bella! Oh Bella. Oh no!" I felt bile rise up in my throat and I swallowed hard. I hadn't yet noticed the tears falling down my face, until I felt my breath hitch in an uncomfortable sob. She lay unmoving, and if it hadn't been for the weak murmur of her heart, I would've thought she was dead. The real question was; _how can she still be alive?_ Her body, from the waist down, was pinned under the car, and the right side of her torso, looked like it had collapsed inside her. Her eyes were opened, and although she didn't say anything, I could sense she could hear me.

Some of my pack brothers had arrived and were now examining the wreckage. I heard Seth's hard intake of air, as he recognized the bloody mess that was now Bella. He took out his cell phone, and I could tell it took him a huge effort not to shout the words he was now saying. "Edward, come quickly. There's been an accident." I could make out a frantic reply from the other side of the line. "Yes….it's…Bella. Bring Carlisle."

It felt like time had come to a complete stop, and we stood still with it. I had seen her eyes move at the mention of his name, she looked like she was trying to say something, but her breathing was too shallow. I thought about moving the car off her, but even though I didn't know anything about medicine, something told me that wasn't a good idea. I also didn't have to be a doctor to tell that she was dying; her slowing heartbeat and her labored breaths were obvious pointers to that fact.

He arrived in less than two minutes. I guessed that the speed it must've taken him to get here should've made a sonic boom.

"**NO**! Oh no, BELLA, no!" he said falling to his knees beside her.

He looked pale, even for a bloodsucker. The doctor reached us a few moments later, and started examining her. His hands moved with mastered knowledge, as he assessed the damage, but I was surprised to hear his voice tremble as he spoke.

"I'm sorry son" he whispered, "There's nothing I can do."

By the look on Edward's face, I had the horrifying feeling that I was seeing a man being burned alive at the stake. There is no other way to describe the pain I saw reflected on the face of the man I had once considered my enemy.

"**NO**! There **HAS** to be something! Try _anything_!" he screamed in broken tearless sobs, as he swept back the hair that was matted to her face from the blood flowing from her nose and ears.

"Bella love! Please. _Please_! _**DON'T LEAVE ME**_! I love you." He couldn't talk, as he bent over her disfigured form.

That hit me hard. _'Don't leave me?'_, he knew she was dying, it didn't have to be this way! Hadn't she decided she was going to become one of them? _She_ had told me that herself. Then, what the hell was he doing? I heard her cough, and saw a stream of blood ooze from her mouth.

"What are you waiting for LEECH? Save her!" The words escaped my lips before I even registered their meaning and before they died away in the air, the disapproving shouts from the other pack members filled the silent gap. Tension seemed to become a personified force, making it hard to even breathe.

I was aware that some of the other vampires had joined us. Making the tension gather power. I could see the small one with the spiky black hair; Alice. She was shaking with silent cries as the motherly one held her. I had never noticed before, how human they looked. The thought that they could even have feelings, had never entered my mind. Bella had always referred to them as good people, with their hearts in the right place. _That's a load of crap, _I had thought. But, I could see that now. I could see the sadness in their stone cold faces. They cared about Bella. They sincerely _loved_ her.

So not even the threats erupting from my pack brothers, could shake my decision. I would protect these leeches; it was the right thing to do. For Bella. I would not stand around and do nothing, while the life of my friend sneaked away from her broken body.

"Son, you must do it! Before it's too late," The vamp-doc said in a hurry.

_Good, we are in a hurry; before the others get here and rip our heads off__. _I thought, sensing the impending arrival from the rest of the pack.

"I'm sorry Bella! _I'm sorry_!" I saw a frightening look of determination flash on his face, as he looked in her glazed eyes. "BELLA, PLEASE! Keep your heart beating. My love. My life. _**My SOUL**_!" he begged her, screaming as her eyes closed.

_Finally!_ I thought. I had expected him to bend down over her jugular, all Hollywood style, but instead he took a silver object the doc gave him. As the fading light reflected off the thing, I recognized it; it was a syringe, and it looked like it was made from steel.

"What's that?" I asked confused.

He shoved the needle straight into her heart. "My venom" he answered as he pushed the plunger down, making her heart jump, like he'd shocked her with paddles. He bent over her, like he was kissing her, brushing his lips at her throat, at her wrists, into the crease inside her arms. But I could hear the lush tearing of her skin as his teeth bit through, again and again, forcing venom into her system at as many points as possible. He moved fast. I saw his tongue sweep along the bleeding gashes, washing the venom over her skin, sealing it shut. I realized what he was doing; the venom was holding the poison and the blood inside her body.

It was done.

The doc lifted the car off her body, and I felt vomit rise up in my throat for the second time today.

"Carlisle!" Edward gasped.

Her legs were splayed in very odd angles, and her body looked almost completely flattened at the waist. She was bleeding profusely from a deep gash in her hip.

"Her femoral artery is severed, there's no time to fix her here. We must get her home at once, so I can stop the hemorrhage." The doctor was all business now. "Jacob" he said as Edward lifted Bella carefully off the ground. "Thank you."

I didn't answer, what was I supposed to say? : _You're welcome? Anytime?_

"I know you've done so much already, but could you please tell Charlie: Bella was in an accident? Just tell him she's in bad shape and we had a helicopter transport her to Seattle. Tell him to call me, I'll take it from there" he urged.

I nodded. Considering the growls from the few pack members that were there, I would not be around long enough to keep that promise.

As soon as they disappeared through the darkening forest, mayhem erupted.

"What are you going to do now? Jake!"

"You let them bite a human!"

"What about the treaty?"

"This is war!"

"Quiet!" Sam's voice resounded above the others. Even without his wolf form, there was no contesting his command. "Meeting now, in the clearing."

We started running, shreds of clothes flying all around as we started phasing. The shouting inside my head was total chaos. I could make out Seth's worried thoughts. _'This isn't good Jake. Sam s' really pissed'_. I ignored him, I had to prepare myself for the hell I would have to go through now. I was the first one to get there, Leah reached me two breaths behind, followed by Sam and the others. We had gathered around in a circle. Sam's hackles rose, as he paced back and forth at the top of the ring. He stopped in front of me, his eyes furious.

'_What have you done? Jacob'_

I shook my head, struggling to focus under the undeniable weight of his judgment. _'I did what I felt was right. She was dying'_

His muzzle pulled back on his teeth. _'So you interfere in the natural law of the universe and condemn your__** friend**__ to a soulless eternity as a monster?'_

'_No!'_ I flinched as growl erupted from his chest.

'_They have broken the treaty, Jacob. With __**your**__ help, and inside our own land!' _He screamed inside my head.

I fought against the severity of his accusation. _'No Sam. It doesn't have to be this way. They only did, what they did, because it was necessary, it was the right thing to do, to save her.' _

His answering howl shook the ground under me. _'Save her! She's dead Jacob. There's nothing left of Bella inside that body, that is now becoming one of them. Our __**enemies**__'_

The power of his reprimand made me fall on my hunches.

'_Sam, they are not like the others, the Cullens are good people.'_ Seth said standing beside me.

It was one thing that I had to pay for my actions, but a wholly other thing to have Seth pay along for them too. _'Shut up Seth'_ I warned him.

'_On that we agree. Shut it Seth.'_ Sam ordered as he stood before us. _'There is no argument, they broke the treaty; they must pay the consequences. We attack tonight, before the transformation is complete. They will be too distracted to expect an attack, we'll have the element of surprise on our side.' _

'_No!'_ I felt fear rise up in me like mercury on a thermometer, at his unbearable sentence. Seth cried a mournful yelp beside me.

'_You will do as you are told'_ Sam ordered, using his Alpha voice.

I felt my legs give out from under me and I sank to the ground. Seth's fur was burrowing deep in the mud as he whimpered.

'_Paul, Jared. You two will take the bl__ond, and Edward. He's fast, and he can read our thoughts, but I'll fight with you, I'm sure between the three of us, we can handle them. Seth, Collin, Brady, and Leah will concentrate on the doctor, his wife, and the psychic.'_

He turned to me. '_Jacob, you are our strongest fighter, I know you've already been trough a lot with your father's passing, but the pack needs you. Tonight you'll stand with us and fight. You, Embry, and Quill will take the big one and the soldier.'_

He then looked away, avoiding my eyes. _'Whoever has a clear shot on….the last one; will take her. We can't allow the transformation to be over, and have a newborn endangering our family's safety. Remember; she's already dead, and keep focused. Don't be distracted by their human appearance. They are our enemies. We are what we are, because of them. Tonight we fight as one; for the treaty, our land, for our families.'_

I felt the anger seep into the very core of my being. I had never felt more of a monster than I did now, at the realization of what I was about to do under his orders. No one could do anything. No one could resist the Alpha's command. No one. Except me. I could already feel the tight bonds that had been holding me down, start to loosen as I embraced my true self. The place of the true Alpha. Sam took a step back and yelped as he became aware of my resolve.

'_You hypocrite'_ I accused as I towered over him. _'Now you refer to them as enemies, but when you needed them to defeat the army of newborns you thought of them as allies. We took their knowledge and went to war as comrades, and now that they are weak, we attack them?'_

'_This is different. They have broken the treaty and created a newborn!' _We stood toe to toe, facing each other.

'_I will not follow you Sam. The treaty was made to protect our families, and you know very well that the Cullens pose no threat to any of them. As for the fact that they bit a human; well, I as Ephraim's heir__, have granted them permission to do an exception._' I said letting my Alpha voice soak my words.

A surprised whine escaped his throat, at the realization of my power over him. _'What are you doing? Jacob. Have you forgotten your ancestry? Did your sense of duty die with your father?'_

It was my turn to flinch back. The words burned me like they spewed acid. I had to fight the urge to rip his throat out. _'I have not forgotten what I am Sam, and I will not fight against my brothers; but I will not take part on the killing of innocents, on behalf of a treaty that does not apply here.'_

A growl erupted from his chest. _'Even if you defeat me Jacob, the pack will never follow you.'_

'_I will never fight you Sam, you are the true leader of this pack. But, I will not be part of the murders you are planning. I choose to go my own way.'_ I turned from him and dug my nails in the mud as I ran at full speed.

I was amazed no one followed, and even more surprised at how quite everything was. I was sure I would've been bombarded with accusing thoughts coming from the pack as soon as they saw me leave. I couldn't hear anything, but the steady pounding of my paws against the bracken. I was enjoying this quite, this freedom. Unfortunately, not for long.

'_Jake man, wait up.'_ Seth's voice said in my head.

My paws sunk deep into the earth as I came to a stop. _'What the hell do you think you're doing? Seth'_

'_I'm coming with you. I want to be part of your pack' _he said reaching me.

'_There is no other pack! There's just the pack, and then there is me; by myself. Go back to Sam'_ I snapped at him.

'_Is that an order? Chief'_

This kid was really annoying me now.

'_We're coming too, Jake'_ Quill and Embry joined us.

'_Why are you here?'_ I asked.

'_You were right bro, killing the Cullens like that is wrong. Even if they are leeches, they have fought with us, not against us. It's just not right.'_ Embry explained.

'_I'm coming too'_ Leah said as she arrived.

I could not believe what I was seeing; even Leah! I would've never thought of her siding with the vampires.

'_I'm not a leech lover, Jacob'_ she said hearing my thoughts _'I'm just here for Seth'_

Great. This was going to be fun. Things were not going as I expected. I did not count on being responsible for the lives of others, as I rebelled against Sam's decision.

'_You don't have to worry about us Jake, we can take care of ourselves__'_ Quill answered my unspoken worry.

'_Besides, Sam won't attack tonight, it would be suicide, he knows they're out numbered'_ Embry added

'_Seth'_ I said turning to him _'phase back and warn the Cullens; tell them what happened'_

'_I'll go with you'_ Leah said _'No matter what you think about them, they are still bloodsuckers. I don't trust them.'_

'_Fine'_ I said giving up _'Embry, Quill, do you guys mind going with them, and keeping a perimeter around the Cullen's house for tonight? I'll join you as soon as I can get away. I sort of need to explain why I left in such a hurry. I still have to deal with the I need to call Charlie.'_

'_Sure man, we understand..__.and sorry about your dad. Anyways, No worries, we'll take care of everything here, and keep you posted until you can get back.' _Embry offered

'_Thank you'_ I said already running.

I needed to get away from them and phase back. I already felt a knot tightening in my throat. Maybe I _had_ been in denial. I realized now that I couldn't talk to my father about all that had happened tonight. I would never get to hear his voice again. I missed him already. Billy and I had not always agreed in everything, but we would always listen to each other, even if we shouted the words in anger. We had no secrets, he had known about my change even before it happened. He had never thrown in my face that I had almost attacked him, when I phased for the first time. I missed my dad. I felt a baseball sized tear swell up in my eye. I threw my body forward, gaining speed. I needed the comfort I had ran away from before. I needed to be held and let the sentiments spill out of me, before they took over me completely. I wanted to feel wrapped around my neck, the soft arms of the only one capable of taking away my pain. Liz, the thought of her was like fuel to my system, I ran faster to my save haven; to Liz.

**A/N First****, I would like to thank my wonderful beta Emberseve, for her help with my grammar and spelling, and for all her feedback. You rock kid! As always, thank you to all my reviewers, especially twilightgal101; because your reviews never fail to encourage me. And to Revontuli, who not only took the time to review but also wrote me an amazing PM.**


	10. Awakening

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N This chapter contains quotes from Breaking Dawn, however, I assure you that the use of said quotes in no way interferes with the plot of this story; I only used them as a descriptive aid in certain scenes. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 10

Awakening

_"Life is a dream from which only death awakens us"._

_-Pedro Calderón De la Barca-_

**BELLA**

I couldn't see, and I couldn't hear. The darkness was completely overwhelming. It was like I'd been thrown into a room with no windows, no doors, and sealed completely shut from any form of light. Light was only a dim memory, only darkness existed.

It materialized and changed form eventually drowning me, while taking me down and becoming more intense. Like swimming in a vat of tar. The substance was weighing my limbs, making them numb and impossible to move. I couldn't breathe in the goo, either. I struggled to swim in it, as I tried to break the surface and fill my lungs with air but I didn't know which way was up.

Soon, I was exhausted, and I couldn't swim anymore. As I stopped struggling, I felt my body begin to float. Maybe this was the key, I just had to stop fighting and my body would rise and reach the surface. Before long, I broke the surface and inhaled deeply. It hurt. I tried again, but this time it felt like I had stuck my head in a fire and breathed in flames. The flames traveled down my throat and ignited my chest, scorching my heart, and making their way down to my arms. It was unbearable.

The feeling of drowning in darkness had been nothing compared to this. Instead of trying to stay afloat, I struggled to dive into the darkness. I wanted to drown in it, to be completely submerged, and let it cover me entirely to extinguish the fire. But the deep vat of tar had become a shallow pool, as if someone had unplugged the stopper in the drain. There was nothing to cover me and soothe me. There was no escaping the pain. I shrieked in agony, begging for it to stop, and for someone to kill me. My limbs where no longer numb, I could feel every part of me as the flames burned me. I thrashed and tussled, attempting to bring my hands up to my chest and claw it open to release the flames in my heart – anything to stop this pain.

As the fire raged, I became painfully aware of every part of my body, the pain had sensitized every part of my being. I could feel every cell, every frantic, speeding heartbeat that pumped a new blaze through me. My mind also became incredibly clear. I could remember every detail of the events that had led me to this hell. I evoked those memories, trying to conceal myself in them...to escape into a part of my mind where the flames couldn't reach me. But the fire wouldn't relent, and for an immeasurable amount of time, fire was the only thing that existed.

I don't know how long I burned. Time had ceased to pass. But the blaze that had eaten away my brain had made room in my mind to ponder other aspects of the pain. The pain had intensified, but I was able to experience it in a new way. I was able to recognize the reason for the pain. I was transforming; Edward had bitten me.

I couldn't control the convulsions that shook my body, but I fought with what will I had left, to stop the wails that struggled to escape my lips. I remembered Edward telling me that Carlisle had been able to remain quite enough to avoid being discovered as he burned. And I could recall Rosalie telling me that it was useless to scream. I hoped with every fiber in my being, that I could be like them, and keep my pain hidden. Because I knew that with every cry that I gave, Edward's torment would double. I couldn't do that to him. He was the reason I had vowed to undergo this pain. He was the only motive that made the agony worth suffering.

My body started waking, and for brief moments, I was able to open my eyes. I caught short glimpses of Edward holding me, struggling with my convulsions. My hearing started becoming clearer and clearer, and I could hear him apologizing every time I shook, promising that the pain would be over soon. He began humming my lullaby, trying to soothe me – it was working.

The pain was not lessening, but the sound of his voice gave me more strength to bear it. At times, I was able to stop screaming. I started hearing other voices coming close.

"Carlisle it's been almost two days, maybe I did something wrong" his voice was stifled, and it broke on the last word.

I felt slight pressure on my wrist.

"Listen to her heartbeat Edward; it's even stronger than Emmett's. It won't be long now."

"Her injuries were so extensive," he said in a broken whisper.

"Her injuries weren't so much worse than Esme's. The venom will heal her, as it did Esme. She'll be perfect. It's not the first time I've seen vampire venom work miracles," Carlisle said, reassuring him.

Two days! I had been burning for just two days. Somehow, it had seemed longer. I fought to open my eyes, and locked them with Edward's.

"Bella, I love you, I'm sorry," he said again in a whisper.

I wanted to speak, to tell him that I loved him too, that he didn't need to suffer with me. But I knew that if I even tried to pry my lips open from the thin line I was pressing them into, only screams would come out. So instead, I tried to concentrate on my blurry gaze, trying with unparalleled effort, to convey the same message trough my eyes. Our stare held for a few seconds, before I lost it in another wave of muscle spasms, as the fire once again rose with intensity.

I can't say that I lost consciousness, because I was very aware of the pain. But at times, I would lose visual connection with the world. Just the visual, I could listen. New noises came. I could make out with perfect clarity the pounding beats of my heart. I could even make out Edward's low even breaths, very close to me. I heard light, rhythmic footsteps, and a whirl or air stirred by an opening door. The footsteps got closer.

"When will she wake up?" Edward asked.

"Very soon" Alice answered, "I can see her waking already"

"How long? Please Alice, focus on the clock"

"All right" Alice sighted

Hushed breathing.

"There, happy now?" Alice said her voice brighter.

He gave a low growl "Relieved, yes. Happy, no. How could I be happy? She's in agony".

"Oh, Edward. Don't worry; she's going to be fine. There was no other way" Alice assured him.

"I know" he sighted "I just…I just wish it didn't have to be this way"

"It wouldn't have made the change any less painful, Edward. Stop torturing yourself. Bella doesn't want you to suffer with her, that's not fair for her, your pain only doubles hers"

Yes, Alice will help him, she would make him understand.

"Your right, I'm sorry. I have to be strong for her. Thank you Alice"

The time! They didn't say how much longer I had to endure. I opened my eyes again, trying to decipher what time it was, that's when the pain changed. It started to fade from my fingertips and toes; receding slowly up to my wrists and ankles. But just as I began to hope that the pain would dim, it shot up at an incredible amount. It was unbearable, bewildering. A scream escaped my lips, and my heartbeat, already too fast, hiked up to an unbelievable pace.

The fire left my arms and legs, but now it seemed to be concentrating on my heart, as if my frantic heartbeat was attracting it.

"Carlisle" Edward called.

Carlisle entered the room with Alice at his side. I could distinguish their footsteps, echoing against the wood floor.

"Ah" Carlisle said, "It's almost over"

_Oh!_ My heart sped up more, I couldn't even scream this time. The pounding of my heart was so fast, that each heartbeat was indiscernible, they had bound together, instead of a heartbeat it was a hum. My back arched, breaking away from the hold Edward was struggling to have on me. All the fire gathered in my heart in an unbearable surge. I fell down once again onto Edward's arms. My heart stuttered twice, and then thudded again feebly one more time.

My heart was silent. Everything around me had come to a stop, including the pain. For a while, that was all I was able to concentrate on; the pain was gone. I couldn't hear anyone breathing, not even me. I snapped my eyes opened and stared around me in awe.

I could see everything. Every tiny beam of light, reflecting of the miniscule dust particles that were floating above me. I could easily make out every stroke of the paintbrush in the ceiling tiles over me. Sunbeams were bouncing off the glossy surface of the paint, braking off into every color of the rainbow; like a prism. I gasped at its beauty, filling my lungs with air. Three sets of lungs started working with mine as I took my first breath. It was odd, no relief came with each intake of air, and it felt unnecessary. But although I didn't need it, I liked it. I could sense and taste every particle of air around me, every fragrance. There was one that stood above the rest; a honey, lilac, and sunshine smell, it was so sweet, so wonderful, that I inhaled deeply once again, flavoring it. I heard footsteps getting close and a swish of air made by a door opening, it brought on new delicious scents. I hadn't realized that someone was holding me, until I felt their grip tighten under me. It startled me, and I froze. In an instant, I recoiled from the touch, flipping over and jumping to my feet, in a movement so quick, so rapid, that I thought the room itself had turned over. I found myself pressed against a tall wall of glass.

In my peripheral vision, I could see others coming into the room, but my whole attention was in the face of the most beautiful creature I had ever seen in my life. I had always known that Edward was beautiful, but until now, I don't think I had been able to take in the true measure of his beauty. His features were so perfect, his full lips so well delineated, like they had been meticulously painted by an artist's brush. His alabaster brow furrowed in wonder as he looked at me, his amber eyes peering trough dense curtains of lashes. I couldn't say anything. His exquisiteness had stunned me.

"Bella?" he said inquisitively, as he walked carefully towards me with outstretched arms.

His voice was the most perfect sound in the world, not even an instrument could compare to it. I could feel its velvety folds, wrapping around my name. So badly, I wanted to touch him and fall into his arms while marveling over the light of his perfection.

I moved to embrace him, but my steps where so quick I bumped into him even before I realized I had moved. My whole body felt so different. As soon as the thought of moving began, my body responded, shifting with uncanny grace. It was more like flowing wind, than rapid step.

He smiled, revealing perfect white teeth that were so bright I had the impression that I was staring at the sun. If my heart had been beating, it would have jumped out of my chest. I wrapped my arms around him, and melted against his chest.

"Um,….Bella, ow" He leaned away from my embrace.

I removed my arms immediately as soon as I understood. I was too strong. I had hurt him. I felt my forehead crinkle with horrified realization.

"Don't worry love," he said, stroking his fingertips over the crease between my eyebrows, trying to smooth the worried lines "You're just a tad stronger than me, for the time being"

I carefully lifted my hands, and placed them with care on both sides of his glorious face. I needed to say something, the most important thing ever.

"I love you," I whispered, the sound ringing like glass bells.

He smiled again, and tenderly rested his forehead against mine. "As I love you," he said.

He surrounded me in his arms and caressed my lips with his. I cautiously leaned closer and he deepened the kiss. His lips parted as he kissed me with an intensity I had never felt before, and even though I didn't need air, my breathing spiked up involuntarily. The power of his kiss was perplexing; it was like he had never kissed me before. In reality, he had never kissed me like this. His breathing also sped as his hand tangled in my hair. I moved my arms to wrap them around his neck, while being as careful as I could. But for an instant, all I was aware of was Edward. His taste on my tongue, his silky lips on mine; it was like we were standing in limbo, and nothing else existed.

Someone cleared their throat, interrupting our elation. I became aware of the other vampires in the room and took a step back, embarrassed by my behavior. Edward laughed but didn't release me.

"Bella" Carlisle said moving slowly as he approached me, like he didn't want to frighten me, "How do you feel?"

I thought about that…I felt…fine. Different, but fine. Other than a sort of parched ache in my throat, the pain was gone.

"I'm fine, I just…." I trailed off; the sound of my voice was distracting.

"It's OK," Edward said stroking my cheek "It's confusing, I know, I remember."

"It's just…the sound of my voice; it's unrecognizable. And everything is so clear" I said looking intently into his gorgeous eyes. "I can see everything, things I had never noticed before. It's like a veil has been lifted off my eyes. And I can hear better too. I could make out the difference in Carlisle's footsteps and Alice's."

"That's very normal" Carlisle said "Anything else?"

"Well, my body moves in odd ways, as soon as I think about moving, my legs are already in motion"

"That's just one of the perks, little sis" My huge teddy bear of a brother said from his position close to the door, a dimple appearing in his cheeks as he smiled at me.

"What about your thirst, you seem very controlled," Carlisle said examining me with his stare.

There was this dry, parched feeling in my throat..My thirst. As soon as I gave it my attention, it flared up. It felt like I'd swallowed sand paper, I was raw inside. My hands flew instinctively to my neck, like I could smother away the dryness in my throat.

I noticed the rest of the family tense up, and I froze. I could feel there was danger close by. They had stayed in their position close to the door. Jasper and Emmett were in front, with Alice, Esme and Rosalie peering behind them. They were all looking at me with guarded expressions, and I realized that the only danger in the room was me, the newborn.

"I'm sorry" Carlisle apologized. "Your thirst must be quite uncomfortable. Perhaps it would be a good idea if you hunted now"

Hunt! But I didn't know how. I didn't know what to do. Just the idea frightened me. I was unable to speak, my whole body had become petrified.

"It's alright, love. I'll show you how. It's easy, you just have to follow your instincts," Edward said, rubbing my arm up and down, encouraging me to thaw out of my frozen state.

I knew I had to keep my reactions in check, so I wouldn't hurt anyone, I concentrated in relaxing my body.

"How is she doing that?" Jasper asked stepping closer to where Edward, Carlisle and I, were standing.

His appearance startled me. If I had been blind to Edward's beauty, Jasper's face was startling. He was not ugly, but his whole face was covered in half moon scars, that gave the resemblance of textured granite. He was intimidating. How many vampires had bitten him? The same amount that had died trying to kill him? His scars were a flashing sign of danger to any vampire. He sensed my reaction, and smiled wryly.

"I don't know" Edward answered.

"You don't know what?" I asked, annoyed that I didn't understand their conversation.

"How you're doing it, how you are controlling your behavior, and not trying to rip out our throats in desperation from your thirst. You're not supposed to be able to do that yet." Edward said looking at me in amazement, like I'd just discovered the cure for cancer or something.

Did he really expect me to try to attack them? He had already warned me about how dangerous being a newborn would be - they all had! Did they think I didn't get their warning? How stupid they must think I am. I felt my body tense with frustration and anger.

"I understood your warnings about being a newborn- _that_ is still somewhat clear in my mind," I said gritting my teeth, so I wouldn't scream at them for their assumption.

"No, of course we know you understood our counsel, that's not what we meant Bella" Edward explained apologetically, rubbing his hand on the small of my back. "It's just amazing that your control is so strong. Because we know how difficult it is to restrain"

Of course, they would never think badly of me, my anger was unjustified and they didn't deserve it. I worked to calm down, I shouldn't overreact like that, and it wasn't fair to them.

"Wow, that's just…amazing. I've never seen anything like it," Jasper said staring at me in disbelieve.

What is with him? Was he always so easily surprised?

"I know" Edward said looking rather smug "Come love, let's hunt"

"Wait" Alice said gliding over to us. Her movements were so graceful, so elegant that I couldn't help but stare; she was so lovely! "There's still something I want to show Bella," she said smiling at me.

"Oh, Alice. This can wait, she's thirsty." Edward said rolling his eyes at her.

"No! What if she sees her reflection on something? You promised that I'd get to see her first reaction!" she said wagging a little finger in Edward's face.

"Fine" Edward sighted "but keep it short, I don't want Bella to suffer"

She was out of the room before he even finished the sentence. I had been distracted by their conversation before, but now that he brought it up again, my thirst was back with a vengeance. I tried to swallow it back, but there was no moisture to extinguish the ache.

Alice came back carrying a huge framed mirror, and placed it in front of me, peeking from behind the frame to look at me excitedly.

"So? What do you think?" She squeaked eagerly.

I turned my attention to the young woman gazing at me from the reflective surface. She was stunning; her features were perfect and delicate. Her dark hair contrasted beautifully with her alabaster skin. But, who was she? I brought my hand up to touch my face, and the woman in the mirror copied the movement. I didn't recognize myself. My eyebrows pulled together in confusion, making a little crease between them. That expression I recognized. It was me, well a version of me. I noticed my eyes, and an involuntary gasp escaped my lips. They were startling. They were not the deep burgundy I had come horribly familiar with. They weren't even the crimson red I'd expected to see in a newborn. These eyes were a shockingly bright red, horrible and sinister, and possibly the scariest I'd ever seen.

"The eyes" I said appalled by their aspect "How long?"

"Not long" Edward answered from behind me, bringing his arms forward to wrap them around my waist. "Maybe about a year, animal blood dilutes the color. First they'll dim to orange and later amber"

"A year" I said, fighting to maintain composure.

"But, what about everything else? Bella! How about the dress, do you like it?" Alice interjected, obviously annoyed by my tepid reaction.

I concentrated again on my reflection – it took a great effort to ignore the horrid eyes. All in all, I had to admit that I did look…..beautiful. And even though my face had changed to an unearthly beauty, I could recognize some of my self underneath the surface. I ran my hands down my now stone hard stomach. The dress Alice must've put on me - while I was too far gone to notice- was very pretty. It was long and flowing, made of pure silk. The tan shade looked lovely against my skin, and the beaded detail in the empire-banded waist contrasted very well with my hair.

"I really like it Alice, it's very pretty, thank you" I said smiling at my tiny sister.

"Oh, Bella. You are _dazzling_." She said her eyes full of joy.

Edward gave a tiny growl from behind me.

"She always has been." he said, kissing my neck, I felt a shiver run down my spine.

It was amazing, he still made me tremble, but not from the coolness of his skin. His touch now felt warm to me, but it still had the ability of sending an electric current running through me, only now it felt intensified.

"Shall we?" he whispered against my ear, and running his finger down my arm, he took my hand. I felt as though my face should've blushed a deep red, but the color never rose to my cheeks.

I let out a gust of air. "Sure, let's go" I said letting him lead me towards the open window.

_*****__**In case you wanted to see Bella's dress, I've posted a link to the image in my profile, so check it out.**_

**A/N Once again, I'd like t****o say thank you to my reviewers: twilightgal101, bluegirl25, 4everbellaxedward, RoryAceHayden147, jj507, Violet King and Sarah. But most of all I'd like to thank the one and only ***Emberseve*** for her amazing beta skills, this chapter would've been impossible without your help, you are the best EVER!! **

**And remember to review; I'd like to hear what you think.**


	11. Savage

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N The next update will be next Sunday.**

Chapter 11

Savage

"_It was night, and the rain fell; and falling, it was rain, but, having fallen, it was blood"_

_Edgar Allan Poe; Silence – A Fable-_

"The window?" I asked a little confused.

"Scared?" Emmett scoffed.

"It's just as easy as using the stairs" Edward said shrugging "But if you prefer, we could go out the back door."

"No." I answered quickly. I didn't want to look like a wimp, and have Emmett make fun of me forever. "The window s' fine."

"Very well then, I'll go first." Edward said heading for the window. He took a casual step over the edge and fell sinuously two stories down, bending his knees as his feet touched the ground.

It looked easy enough; it's not as if I could get hurt or anything. I looked down at my feet visualizing how I would place them, and noticed the silly shoes Alice had put on me. I didn't think the strappy, high heels would survive the landing, so I took them off.

"Bella! What are you doing?" Alice walked over to me looking very annoyed.

"I don't want to ruin them," I explained

"But they complete the outfit" She stated, as such a fact would be obvious to anyone with half a brain.

"Yes Alice, but I'm going hunting, not to a beauty pageant. I'll wear them some other time." I held my ground.

"Ugh, fine, your sense of style hasn't improved with your change; we still have a long way to go…" She said taking the shoes.

"Bella? Are you coming?" Edward asked, as he waited for me.

"Yeah" I said hesitantly. _OK here I go_. I tried to mimic his casual stride out the window, and took a step. It didn't feel like I thought it would. I could see the ground coming closer but it felt as if I wasn't falling at all. I could see everything with such keen detail that it was incredibly easy to place my feet in the softest spot possible while avoiding the jagged rocks. It was just like taking a normal step down a flight of stairs. I touched the ground with my toes first, and then absorbed the full impact with the balls of my feet.

I looked at Edward, waiting for his comment, but he just stared at me with an awed expression.

"Well? How'd I do?"

"Bella," he said looking dazed. "That was amazing, even for a vampire." The corners of his mouth twitched up.

"Oh." So maybe I wouldn't go down in history as the world's only clumsy vampire. "Thank you." I said pleased by his compliment.

"Follow Me," he said taking my hand and leading me towards the river. We stopped at the edge. "We have to jump," he stated

"Jump over the river?" I tried to say matter of fact, but it came out sounding more like a question.

"Yes, just watch me." he said cupping my face with his hand.

He took a few steps back and then ran forward, clearing the distance in two long bounds. He placed one foot on a flat rock by the waters edge, and used it as leverage to propel himself over the riverbed. His jump only took a matter of milliseconds, and he cleared it making a summersault as he reached the other bank.

"Show off." I mumbled, but I could hear his silent laugh coming from inside the forest.

I guesstimated the width of the river to be about fifty yards. I took a few more steps back than Edward did, because I didn't want to underestimate the length of my jump and end up taking a dive in the water. I curved my knees a little and bent forward as I sprinted. Just like my jump from the window, this leap felt like second nature to me. It was easy to plant my foot on the flat rock Edward had used, and push myself forward. My muscles reacted with uncanny precision as I brought my legs to the front; preparing to land on my feet.

I could see the river running over the rocks, about twenty feet under me. The feeling was exhilarating. My jump was a little longer than Edward's, but as the trees started getting closer it was easy to hold my arms out and grasp one of the conveniently placed branches to slow my momentum. I swung from the limb a couple of times and let myself fall down, landing again on my toes and absorbing the impact with the balls of my feet. Although I didn't need air, my breathing had sped and I couldn't stop smiling from excitement.

"Bella?" Edward called. I heard the faint rustling of sticks and branches as he ran to my side.

I stood still, savoring the joy of my success.

"Wow." he said joining me. His eyes were bright with admiration. "That was quite a jump."

I just laughed as he pursed his lips in a teasing lopsided smile, and ran his eyes over me.

"Let's see how you fare off running with me," he said rushing forward, making my dress ruffle around me from the force of his movement. He stopped about ten feet from me, and looked back at me; giving me a full smile. "Try and keep up!" and then he was gone in the blink of an eye. I couldn't see him, but I could hear his hushed laughter as he ran.

"Watch me." I whispered to myself, while smiling as I sprang forward.

I ran, letting the full force of my new immortal self take over every step. My hair swept back from my face, and my dress flew behind me. I laughed too, entranced by the feeling of flying past the speeding green all around me. The forest floor felt like suede under my bare feet. The thorny branches that broke against my face had a tickling sensation; like soft feathers caressing my skin. My strides became longer, and soon I overtook him. We ran side by side, both of us breathless from joy. He veered to the left closing the distance between us, making me smile even wider. I knew that I could outrun him - he was very fast, but I was stronger right now- but I didn't want to. I was exactly where I wanted to be, by his side. Even if we didn't know where we were headed, we would go forward together. I could finally keep up; we were equals.

Suddenly, he leaped, wrapping his arms around my waist as we went flying across the forest, the sound of our laughter mixing with the noise made from our bodies rolling around the floor when we hit the ground.

"You're quite fast little gazelle." he said when we came to a stop, sweeping my tousled hair from my face.

I smiled up at him, caressing his face. I couldn't stop touching him. His beauty was just so unreal. I gently glided my fingertips on his luscious lips. He closed his eyes and exhaled, washing my face with his sweet scent. I moved both my hands to the back of his neck and brought his face closer to me. His mouth found mine, making a small moan on the back of his throat as our lips met. Our breath became ragged, and it felt like an electrical surge was running through me when his hand curled around my knee, making its way up my milky white thigh; gliding my dress back as his fingertips stroked my skin. My fingers tangled is his hair and his hand grasped my hip; pulling me closer to him. He rolled to his back pulling me on top of him. His hand never relenting the grasp around my hip as we rolled around the forest floor. His other hand knotted on my hair. Moonbeams filtered through the canopy, spotting the bare skin of his face and neck. I kissed every speck of light on his throat.

"Um…Bella?" he said breathlessly

"Mmm?" I moaned

"Um…I think we've gotten a little off course." he whispered, his eyes still closed. I couldn't concentrate on what he meant.

"We're supposed to be hunting." he murmured still panting, but I felt his hold loosen around me.

I groaned, but pushed myself off him, rolling onto my back again. Now that he mentioned hunting, my thirst flared up again. He moved to rest on his side and placed his hand on the side of my face.

"Don't worry, we'll have time." he said, while gently moving his thumb across my cheekbone.

"We will?" I answered, completely mesmerized by his eyes.

He smiled "Only a whole eternity's worth." He took my hand and got up, pulling me with him. We stood in front of each other.

"Now," he began "Close your eyes. Concentrate on your other senses."

I followed his instruction and shut my eyes, willing my other senses to heighten. I could feel a faint breeze rustling the ferns around us. I could taste the moisture in the air, it mixed with the flavors from the earth and vegetation; and with other flavors, I had no name for, but that had sort of a tangy taste. I could hear the soft murmur of a stream, as it moved across rocks and collected in a shallow pool. It was close by, I could make out little drops of dew falling off a leaf, and hitting the surface of the water. There was also a lapping sound of tongues, dipping in the surface. I concentrated harder on that sound. The beat of three strong hearts reached my sensitive ears; it made my throat ignite on fire. My eyes flew open.

"Let your senses guide you." he said taking a step back "Don't fight it, give in to your instincts."

I turned, and took off running at full speed towards the sound that promised to quench the fire in my throat. My legs carried me with mysterious accuracy, moving me over fallen trees and leaping over moss covered rocks. I felt the wind rush around me as I dashed through the forest. I was closer to the sound now, I could also smell them. The smell by itself was off, but joined by the wet sound of the beating hearts; it was delicious. I slowed my pace to a crawl, and crouched down behind the ferns. I could see them now, their dark tan coats reflecting the light of the moon, the antlers of the bull covered in a velvety fur, their breath condensing every time they exhaled. However, most of all what had my attention was the pulsing of the warm liquid I craved, right underneath the surface of their skin. I went for the big one. Their heads shot up as they saw me flying over the stream towards them. They took off, but they were no match for me. I dug my hand in the elk's back, grasping the protruding bone of its spine and stopped his frantic run. It tried to fight, but his attempts were feeble against my strength. I grabbed his antlers with both hands and jerked his neck back, his collar made a snapping sound and it fell to the ground; laying completely motionless. But I could still feel the warmth coming from the palpitating vein in its neck. My mouth filled with venom and my lips drew back from my teeth, a low growl erupting from my throat. I knelt down and lifted its neck; bringing it to my mouth. I sunk my teeth where the warmth concentrated and drank eagerly, the warm blood soothing my flaming throat. It ran dry too quickly and I dropped the carcass to the ground, I stood up and swiped the blood that had dribbled down my chin with my forearm. I still felt thirsty, the flames had diminished but they were not gone.

"Nicely done." Edward said leaping from a huge rock where he had been watching me. Crossing his arms over his chest he said, "That one must've been about eleven hundred pounds; very big bull. How do you feel now?"

I felt like a faint buzzing was running through my veins, But my throat was still parched.

"I'm still thirsty, I think." I admitted a little embarrassed.

"That's normal, newborns are always thirsty. Would you like to continue?"

I agreed, nodding my head. We followed the elk that I had scared away when I attacked the male. Now that I knew what I was doing, Edward hunted with me. It was an incredible sight to watch him hunt. He stalked his prey, moving lithely without making a sound; like a ghost. The animal's heart sped up when he approached, like a siren call beckoning its victim. Only in this case the prey was calling for its killer. His movements were precise. His grip was firm and sure. He was truly dangerous; dangerous and glorious, like a warrior angel.

The wind tousled his hair, just as his perfect lips parted over the neck of his prey. The breeze carried a scent I had not experienced before. My head bent back and I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply the most appealing scent that had ever existed. I ignored my own prey, letting it drop to the ground still undrained. I saw his head snap up to look at me with weary eyes. My body tensed as I crouched down and prepared to spring. I ran like I had never ran before; like a lightning strike blazing through the trees. Small branches cut across my dress and tangled in my hair. I heard footfalls following me, but the force that was pulling me forward was much more powerful, than my curiosity to know my pursuer. I pressed ahead, the sweetness of the scent was unbearable to resist. The bloodlust was overpowering. More footfalls echoed behind me and gathered speed. My sense of self-preservation kicked in. I had to defend myself from my attackers. I turned and leaped for the one nearest to me. A feral growl coming from my chest as my hand curled around his throat. I wanted to rip him apart.

"Bella!" he said with his eyes closed, as he attempted to break the hold I had on his neck.

The others reached us. "Bella!" a voice commanded "Put him down! You are hurting him!"

I tightened my hold, another growl thundering from inside me. I looked at his face and he opened his eyes. Amber pools of liquid gold held my attention.

"Bella, love?" his words were almost indiscernible.

Edward! I released him at once. I felt movement coming from around me, and my body was tackled to the ground. I fought with all my strength against my captors, but there were just too many of them.

"Bella! Stop!" Edward said kneeling in front of me.

I threw my head back and dug my fingers in the ground, unable to control the shrill wail that shook my whole frame.

"Bella, THINK. That is the scent of a human. You don't want to kill humans. Don't let the monster take over. You have to fight!" Carlisle said with authority, he was helping Emmett and Jasper keep me down.

I shrieked in agony.

"Bella." Edward said looking intently into my crazed eyes "think about what you are doing. It could be someone you know. Think about Charlie."

_Charlie!_My dad. He used to fish not very far from here. Images from my previous life started flooding my mind. They were not clear; it was like watching them through a fogged glass. But my reason started coming back. The fire still blazed, but now I understood. I had almost killed a human!

"Oh!" I said "I have to get away from here." I said through clenched teeth. I held my breath trying to keep the scent away. The memory of the scent still haunted my thoughts but I was able to control it.

They looked at each other with confused expressions, but released me. I took off as soon as I was free, running away from the scent that had possessed me; like a demon runs from the Croix.

The others followed close behind in a semicircle. They must've thought I might try to turn back, and were making sure I had no escape. I didn't blame them. I had acted exactly like a savage, like the monster they had warned me I would be. It wasn't that I hadn't believed them; I had seen the monsters firsthand. I had just thought that with the knowledge I had gained by being around them, I would be different; that I would be able to control the urges that came with being a newborn. I was wrong. I had been overly confident and even arrogant about it, and now I must pay. I had endangered the life of a human, and most appalling of all; I had attacked the people that had tried to safe me from myself. Edward! I had turned against him and tried to harm him. How could I've done that? I would never forgive myself for that.

We reached the river and I jumped over it without breaking my step. I turned away from the house; I didn't want to face my other family members right now. I stood under one of the huge cedars next to the house.

"Oh, Edward. I'm so sorry." I said as soon as he came near. I buried my face in my hands; I was so overwhelmed with shame.

"It's alright love." he said removing my hands from my face and hugging me to his chest.

I had a prickly feeling in my eyes, and my breathing became erratic. I didn't understand the feeling.

"Shhh. Don't cry, it's alright." he cooed.

Now I understood...so this is how it felt to cry. My body heaved with tearless sobs, and he held my head tenderly against his chest.

"Don't worry, it will pass. It will be easier with time. Actually you did very well."

I didn't answer, I just looked at him in disbelieve. How could he call what had just happened, _doing well?_

He sensed my doubt. "No, listen Bella, you did well. You were able to reason and you stopped your hunt. You imposed a control that I've never seen on a newborn before. We are all very impressed by you."

Was I using control? Well, the fact that I had not killed anyone tonight must prove that. Nevertheless, I had been so close; if they hadn't stopped me….I didn't even want to think about the possibility.

"What made you stop, though? You were struggling to get away from us, and suddenly you just stopped fighting. What changed?" he mused.

"Charlie, you mentioned him. I hadn't even thought about him since my change. Though when you said his name, his face just flashed before my eyes. I remembered him. Oh, Edward, he must be so worried about me! But I can't even see him. I can't let him see me like this. I could kill him! What are we going to do?" I said agonized, my voice breaking.

"We have a lot of decisions to make." he sighed. "Let's go inside, so we can explain everything."

I didn't want to go inside and face the reproachful stares of my family, but I wanted to know how we were going to deal with my transformation. What were we going to tell my family? I missed them already. I could imagine their tortured expressions brought on by my disappearance.

"It will be fine, Bella. I promise."

"The others will be disappointed." I said regretfully.

"Ha! If you knew the things they did when they were newborns, you wouldn't think that way! They understand better than you think. Besides they weren't able to have the same self-control you show now, until after years of practice. Don't worry, you're way ahead of the game." he said leading me to the house.

**A/N Thanks again to those of you who took the time to review, your comments are important; they make me write a better story. Thanks again to my wonderful beta - Emberseve, for untangling a huge mess of words and ideas and having them make sense.** _I also have a question for the readers_**: Which aspects (that were present in the other books) did you miss in Braking Dawn? ie *Bella & Edward moments. *Interaction with the family. *Romantic tension, etc. I'll have a poll on my profile soon, regarding these topics, but for the time being, just post your ideas on the review page or PM me. This will help me to write a better story. Oh! And I'm starting a few communities of The Best Twilight stories, there will be different categories, so if you have a story or know of one that you'd le to recommend let me know, there are a few rules as this is an invite only, and later with the help of my wonderful beta I will also open a webpage where you can read them. So speak up.**


	12. Memories

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 12

Memories

"_In our endeavor to recall to memory something long forgotten, we often find ourselves upon the very verge of remembrance, without being able in the end to remember."_

_Edgar Allan Poe –Ligeia-_

"Oh, what's the big deal?" Emmett said annoyed "so you almost killed a human. _**Almost**_, being the key word here. You're a newborn; you're supposed to be wild with thirst. If you ask me, I think you're too tame to be a vampire; maybe Edward messed up your change"

"Don't be ridiculous Emmett" Edward snapped at him.

"Well, just look at her" Emmett waved a hand around signaling to me, like a game show host displaying a prize on TV. "When I was changed..." he trailed off, lost in thought.

"Well" he continued, "I remember this one time, about fifty years ago. I was walking up a cart path; on an errand for Rose, and there was this middle aged woman taking down dried sheets from a line strung between two apple trees"

"Emmett!" Edward interrupted him "I really doubt Bella wants to hear about that right now" he said, livid by his brother's attempt to distract me.

Emmett laughed "OK, all I'm saying is that Bella has to learn to get over things; eternity is a long time to wallow in guilt"

Edward looked like he was about to say something, but Carlisle interrupted before he could speak.

"Let's settle down" he said, "We have more important matters to discus. Bella must have many questions for us right now, and we should do our best to answer them"

We were sitting on the white sofas in the living room, each of us huddled together in pairs, I looked around at my family, all of them had their eyes on me; waiting for me to begin. There were so many questions, but one stood above the rest.

"Charlie" I began, looking directly at Carlisle "What does he think happened? How is he? Does he think I'm dead?"

"How about we answer one at a time?" He gave me a knowing smile "First of all I should assure you that for the most part, Charlie is fine"

For the most part? I felt the prickly feeling in my eyes again

He sensed my distresses "When I say for the most part, I mean he's in excellent health; but very worried about you"

He's worried; I pondered. "So he knows something happened to me?"

"Yes, well, since your change happened at an unforeseen moment; seeing as you and Edward had decided to wait for at least a year. I thought it best to wait until you had awakened from your transformation; so you could tell us how you want to proceed"

"What do you mean?" I was very confused by his words. How was I going to proceed? It's not as if I had many choices. I couldn't be around Charlie while I was a half crazed vampire; I would kill him. Moreover, he couldn't know about my change, that would definitely kill him, if not of a heart attack, the Volturi would surely take care of that. A shiver ran down my spine at the thought. One way or another, Charlie would be hurt.

Jasper must've felt my worry because I saw him exchange a look with Edward.

"Calm down love, he thinks you're in a hospital right now, under intensive care," Edward said rubbing little soothing circles on the back of my hand.

"He knows about the accident?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Charlie thought I was laying on some hospital bed, clinging to life.

"Yes" Carlisle continued, "He saw the car. And we told him you had been airlifted to a clinic in Minnesota, which specializes in the kind of injuries you sustained"

"But then, if he thinks I'm in Minnesota; won't he try to go there to see me?" I didn't think Charlie was the type to just sit down and wait while his daughter fought for her life on a hospital.

"He did want to go see you immediately after Carlisle told him what happened, but we were able to convince him otherwise. Carlisle told him that even if he flew to Minnesota; you were in such a delicate condition that he would not be permitted to see you. Because the risk of infection was too great," Edward explained.

"And what about Renee? She's not as patient as Charlie" I thought about my impulsive mother, she would not be so easily persuaded to stay away.

"Renee was a little more difficult to convince, but when we told her that Carlisle was personally involved in your treatment, that seemed to appease her to some measure." Edward said smiling at his father.

"What about if they call the hospital and find that there is no Isabella Cullen registered as a patient there? Won't that make them suspicious?" I asked hesitantly, because knowing them, they had probably come up with a way to explain that too.

"Bella, I'm insulted that you even consider that we would not have thought about that before" Alice interjected, making a face in mock horror.

"It's all taken care off. We gave them a number in Minnesota and had the calls redirected here." Jasper said looking with admiration at his petite wife.

"When you live as long as we have, Bella; you learn how to hide your tracks." Emmett added.

"Alice is quite handy in those matters." Edward said giving his tiny sister a smile.

Of course, these vampires were nothing if not thorough.

"So what do we do now? We just tell them I died?" I cringed at the thought of having to lie in a coffin while my parents cried over their dead daughter. I couldn't do that to them. Even if I'd be able to control my thirst and keep from attacking them, I still wouldn't be capable to just lie there and let them suffer.

"Well, that is up to you" Carlisle answered "If that is what you want, but you must know there are other options"

"What else could we do? I can't be near them right now. I wouldn't be able to control my thirst. You saw what happened today, I could kill my own family. And even if I was able to contain myself, I don't exactly look the same, they would notice I'm different" I said, again confused by his words.

"We've thought of something," Edward said trying to explain, "Since your injuries were so extensive, you would need a long time to recover, so that would give you time to discipline your thirst. And when you do learn to control those urges and want to see them again, the changes in your appearance could be easily explained as a result of the reconstructive surgeries you had to undergo"

Wow, I couldn't speak. They really had thought of everything. I just stared at them in awe. I wondered if I would ever be so ingenious given a century or two to practice.

"Clever, don't you think?" Edward said smiling at me with a witty look in his eyes.

"You thought of this?" I asked him perplexed

"Well, I can't take all the credit, Carlisle came up with the idea of the plastic surgery as an explanation to your physical changes" he said, looking proudly at his father.

"Well, you seemed to have covered all the bases" I said elated that thanks to them I would be able to keep my parents in my life, even if it would be for just a short amount of time. Eventually, the fact that none of us were aging would become too obvious to hide. "Is there anything else I should know about?" I asked, looking directly at my husband.

I saw Carlisle and Edward exchange a worried glance and I tensed.

"What?" I directed my question to Carlisle but it was Edward the one to answer.

"There's no need for you to worry; but the werewolves did have some things to say about your change taking place in their territory"

The wolves. Jacob! "What happened?" I asked freezing up in my seat.

"I said there's no need to worry Bella. Jacob stepped in on our behalf; he defended us against the pack" I couldn't help but notice the tone in his voice when he mentioned Jacob's name, it sounded like…pride, but maybe I was just imagining things.

"But what will happen to Jake? He's been through so much already. He can't stand up to the pack. Sam would never let that happen" I was afraid to even think what Sam would be doing to him right now.

"You forget who your friend is Bella" Carlisle said hugging Esme as if an unforeseen force had threatened to separate them.

"We will be forever in debt to him for all his effort," she said and without taking her eyes off him, she reached up to caress his face with her fingertips.

Edward smiled at his loving parents, and then turned his attention to me.

"Jacob, as the true alpha gave us permission to make an exception and save your life" he hugged me tighter against him, placing his chin on the top of my head and bringing my face to rest against his shoulder.

"I'd never thought I'd see the day were we had to thank that mongrel for protecting our lives" Rosalie interjected, making a face.

"Rose" Esme scolded.

"We should all be thankful to Jacob for his…compassion. His goal was to protect Bella, but we owe him the safety of the rest of the family as well. His was a great sacrifice." Carlisle stated looking intently at all his children.

"He broke away from the pack" Edward explained, "He was the only one who could do it. He embraced his rightful position as the true Alpha and stood against Sam's orders to kill us for breaking the treaty. Some of the other wolves followed him; Seth, Embry, Quill, even Leah"

"But won't Sam now try to fight against them too?" I was horrified that Jacob would have to fight against his pack brother for me. No matter what I did, I always ended up hurting him.

"Sam won't attack us. He knows his outnumbered." Emmett said while flexing his biceps "If he attacks now, we'll be ready" he smiled.

Ugh! I threw him a nasty look.

How could he be so happy at the prospect of getting in a fight; I would never allow them to fight against the wolves. No matter what had happened they had been my friends, they had protected me from Victoria when I had no one to protect me. I still considered them my friends, and I owed it to them to try to keep the peace.

"No one will fight anyone" Edward barked at his brother "Jacob has already been through enough trouble on our account. He has assured us we will have no trouble from Sam's pack, and I believe him"

"Ugh" Rosalie said looking disgusted "I hate having to rely on the word of that mutt"

I couldn't help but be angry by Rosalie's comment. Wasn't she aware of all that Jacob had done for us?

"I trust him completely" Carlisle gave her a warning glance, and to my disbelieve she lowered her eyes looking ashamed.

"I know, I know," she said still looking down "I just hate feeling like I'm not in control of my own existence. I am grateful for his involvement on our behalf. I just don't like feeling like I have to rely on someone else to protect us" she looked up at Emmett, her beautiful face becoming worried.

Emmett kissed her on her forehead and wrapped his arms around her to hold her close.

"It's alright Rosie, we'll be fine" he told her tenderly "heck, I'm even starting to get used to their smell," he laughed

"Their smell? Have they been here?" I asked

"Jacob's pack has been keeping a perimeter around our property, just in case. Jacob dropped by yesterday to check on you, and he'll probably come by later today." Edward said.

"Today! Edward, I'm in no condition to be around him. I don't think trying my self control on my best friend is such a good idea!" I said appalled that they even considered using Jacob as a guinea pig.

"He's not exactly human, love. You'll see what I mean," he said with a trace of a smile on his perfect lips. "And we'll be here to help. You won't have to go through this alone"

That rather helped me come down a little. Edward would never let me do something I would regret for the rest of my existence.

"Thank you" I said to him, and then I turned to rest of my family "to all of you, for all that you've done. I'm eternally grateful for your sacrifice. I'll never be able to repay you"

"It's no sacrifice dear." Esme said putting an arm around my shoulders and giving me a hug, "you are part of the family. We always take care of each other" she smiled, sweeping a loose strand of hair from my face and tucking it behind my ear.

A little tight knot balled up in my throat because of her gesture. She had a way of soothing away all my worries, with just the tender look of her kind eyes.

"There now, feeling better?" Edward said kissing my forehead.

"Yes" I smiled.

"OK" Alice jumped up excitedly "Now that everything s' cleared up. Bella needs to clean up. It's been killing me to see her like this. Look at what you've done to your dress" she scolded.

I really was not in the mood to play dress up, but once I looked down at my dress, I changed my mind. I was a mess, my skirt had several rips and tears and was stained with mud and dried blood. My hands and fingernails were also dirty and when I touched my hair, I found little twigs and leafs tangled in a chaotic mess. Suddenly, cleaning up seemed like a really good idea. If Jacob was coming for a visit, I didn't want this to be his first impression of his now vampire friend. I looked like a scarecrow with twigs coming out of my head.

"Fine" I agreed, "I could use a shower"

Shower was the understatement of a lifetime. After I had finished cleaning up, I came out of the bathtub to find Alice standing in front of me, holding a brush on one hand and a hairdryer in the other.

"Alice!" I admonished, "Can't you wait until I get out of the bathroom"

"Oh, come on hurry up" she lowered her weapons and handed me a towel.

"Edward" I called "I think your sister is trying to molest me"

I heard him chuckle

I wrapped the towel around me and let Alice lead me to her huge bathroom to begin my torture. I thought it was funny that even though my exterior had changed completely, I had remained the same inside. I still didn't care much about fashion or makeup. It seemed like a complete waist of time. Even more now that I really didn't need it.

"OK Bella, before you insist on wearing your old jeans and t-shirts, I should tell you that they are not here," Alice said taking a step back to admire her handy work on my hair.

"Alice!" I said flying out of her room. I got to my room in a flash and headed for the closet. It was completely full of clothes hung in garment bags, and I couldn't recognize any of them.

"What have you done?" I shot her a nasty glare "Where is my stuff? And, what the hell is all this?" I said holding up a pale blue silk gown

"Oh, take it down an octave, Bella. I gave all of your old clothes to goodwill. Therefore, these magnificent outfits are now your new wardrobe. I will not have my new sister walking around looking like a hobo, so just deal with it," She stated.

"Urgh" I growled

"Stop fussing, I even got you new jeans, so ease up on the drama," she said handing me a pair of artistically faded blue jeans.

Drat, as long as I didn't have anything else to wear I'd have to let her play dress up with me. I slipped on the jeans and white t-shirt she gave me, what other choice did I have.

"You know Alice, I already had a bunch of jeans and t-shirts just like this ones. There was no need to go buy more of the same stuff," I scolded.

"These are not the same, Bella!" she said, like I had just insulted her "These are haut couture, by Dolce and Gabbana, no less. How could you even compare?"

I had to laugh; she looked so funny all worked up like that. I hugged her and gave her a little peck on her cheek.

"Thank you Alice" I smiled at my cute petite sister "I'm sorry if my ignorance upsets you. I really like the clothes"

She turned her head away from me, crossing her twiggy arms in the process; she looked so cute, like a little china doll.

"Oh, come on Alice, you know I love you" I hugged her again.

"Yeah, Yeah, words" she said pushing me away and trying to look annoyed, but I caught her giving a little smile.

I heard the a thunderous rumbling of a motorcycle, as it's tires moved from the pavement of the highway to the soft dirt of the drive, and started moving quickly trough the woods in direction of the house.

My light mood changed instantly. My whole body froze in chagrin.

**A/N Once again, I'd like to thank all of you who have taken the time to review, I really appreciate it! Of course, I have to say thank you to the best beta in the world; the one and only Emberseve. Also, I'd just like to let you all know that I will be closing the poll about BD next week and I will post the results in my next chapter. To those of you that submitted stories for the Best Of Twilight Fan Fiction list, I'll send you a PM to let you know if your story will be used on the new webpage****, there's still space for about nine more stories, so if you haven't submitted yet, DO IT! I don't know if I'll be updating next week because my Beta is on vacation and I don't know if any of you will have time to read anything during the holydays. (maybe if I get enough reviews I might…*hint, hint*)**

**Happy Holydays to all of you!!! **


	13. Friendship

Chapter 13

**Friendship**

_**"There is magic in the memory of schoolboy friendships; it softens the heart, and even affects the nervous system of those who have no heart."  
- **__**Benjamin Disraeli**__** – **_

I stood as still as a rock facing the front door. My whole family gathered around me trying to comfort me.

"It will be alright love, please don't be anxious," Edward said, placing his hands gently on my shoulders.

I heard the engine of the bike cut offand the sound of fast approaching foot steps. My mouth filled with venom as I heard the soft sloshing of a pounding heart. I tensed and swallowedhard, pushing the venom down, searing my throat. A sudden feeling of calmness spread over me. I looked at Jasper and he smiled.

"Thank you" I whispered. Normally, I objected when he used his powers on me, but I felt very grateful for them now. I needed all the help I could get.

Carlisle moved to open the door. A beam of sunlight peered through the gap, and reflected off our skin, sending a million tiny sparkles that bounced back in Jacob's face. There he was, my best friend. Those words resonated true and unwavering within my mind - _'my best friend.'_ Because no matter how long we are apart, no matter the distance or our disagreements, whenever I look into those eyes I know in the very core of my existence that I am welcomed. I am home. Even if my body has changed to an inhuman form, my feelings are the same; I will always be his friend, and he will forever be the boy with the bikes - the one who rescued me from myself, my friend, _my Jacob_.

We both stood there in silence, studying each other. His eyes, partially covered by his dark hair, looked guarded, but not scared. He seemed to have aged somehow, but not in the normal sense of the word. He didn't look old, but his features emanated a sense of wisdom and knowledge characteristic of a very old man. He reminded me of Billy, when he told us the tribe legends so long ago.

"Bella?" he spoke wearily.

He was still standing a few feet away, and as elated as I was to see him, I still didn't want to move any closer.

"Hello, Jacob." I tried to sound calm and reassure him, but my voice broke when I spoke his name.

He smiled back like the rising sun, and although I couldn't cry a lump rose in my throat.

"Wow, Bells. You're a freak show," he murmured, trying to lighten the mood of the moment. Edward hissed at him.

That was my Jacob through and through. He always knew the wrong thing to say at just the right time; I couldn't help the smile that crept across my face.

"No, its ok," I patted Edward's hand reassuringly before returning my gaze to Jake. "It's the eyes, right?"

"Among other things…" He took a step closer causing me to reflexively back up into Edward.

"Oh, for crying out loud! If you were going to go all newborn crazy on me, you would've done it already. Come on Bells, show me your fangs," he said, obviously annoyed by my reaction.

I couldn't believe he wasn't taking this seriously. "That's not funny Jake! Could you try and not be such a jerk?"

"You say that like you actually believe it's plausible," he chuckled in response.

"It's fine Bella. We're here," Edward reassured me. "You won't hurt him."

"Hold on to me," I pleaded, still unwilling to trust myself.

"Oh, please!" Jacob said rolling his eyes, and closed the distance between us in two long strides he scooped me up in a hug.

A very strong woodsy smell hit me like a wrecking ball. His skin was so hot! It was like standing close to a fire.

"There, now. Was that so terrible?" he said setting me down.

"Um, no," I hesitated, wrinkling my nose.

"What?" Jacob asked. He looked confused.

"No, it's just that….wow Jake you reek!" I replied hastily, embarrassed.

All of a sudden everyone was laughing, including Jacob. Oh, that felt so nice, seeing him laugh like this; I hadn't seen that in a long time.

"Look who's talking," he said giving me a little wink. "At least I don't glitter like a Christmas ornament."

"Oh Jake, I'm so happy to see you. I've missed you!" I really hoped he could hear the truth in my words.

He smiled. "Yeah well, I understand, I am kind of unforgettable."

Edward rolled his eyes, but the smile didn't disappear from his face. When he looked at Jacob it was not with the usual dislike I was used to seeing, but with a brotherly kindness. It was amazing, I couldn't stop looking at their reactions to each other - they seemed so comfortable now.

"Bella," Edward said. "Why don't you and Jacob go out for a walk? I know you have a lot of catching up to do," he added. It was his way of letting me know he was approving of the idea.

Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw Jacob tense up a bit, or maybe I just imagined it. Perhaps he was worried about being alone with a newborn.

"Um…well," I said unsure, looking back at Jacob. I didn't want him to feel obligated to spend time with me.

"I think that would be great. What do you say Bells? Feel up for a walk or are you still coordinately challenged?"

I smiled. "Ha, ha funny. Come on, maybe we'll find a stick and play fetch."

Emmett snorted in response to my comment.

"Ouch!" Jake said mockingly. "That one hurt!"

"Let's go," I said rolling my eyes as I turned to Edward.

He game me a little kiss on my forehead. "Have fun, I'll be waiting for you.. I'm leaving you in good hands." He turned to Jacob. "Thanks again, Jacob. I owe you my whole existence."

Jacob didn't respond, but he did roll his eyes, and for once Edward didn't look annoyed with Jake's lack of manners - he just laughed, apparently amused by Jake's thoughts.

With that, I took Jacob's hand and headed out the front door.

We didn't go far. We crossed the river and walked a few miles north. It wasn't the beach, but being beside the water as I talked to Jacob gave me a sense of peace. We didn't speak as we walked, but the silence between us wasn't uncomfortable.

I glanced over at Jacob curiously. "What was that about? I mean, before, when we were leaving. What were you thinking that made Edward laugh?"

"Nothing. It's just that your leech has gone all soft and mushy… I sort of miss his Count Darko days."

My laughter startled a bird from its perch high above in a tree. It felt like before, when our relationship was as easy as breathing - natural, without any complications. I sat down on a huge boulder by the water's edge and patted the space next to me, encouraging him to sit.

I had so many questions to ask him, so many things I wanted to say, but since none of them would be easy to put into words, I decided to go for the most obvious one first.

"How are you Jacob, really? I heard about your dad. I'm so sorry." His eyes tightened, but he looked under control. His gaze never left mine as he took a deep breath and answered.

"I miss him. I think about him everyday. I wish he was here to talk to me and tell me that I made the right choice. That he's proud of me for standing up to Sam… You know, I sort of feel his approval; he always did tell me that one day I would have to make that choice. I just never really believed him." He looked down, and seemed to be concentrating very hard on the ground.

"Oh Jake," I couldn't help putting my arm around his shoulder. Goose bumps rose on his arms, but he didn't flinch away from my touch. "I'm so sorry. I feel terrible for all you've gone through. It's all my fault and I know I'll never be able to repay you." Will I ever stop hurting him?

His snort took me off guard. "You think this is only about you? Please Bella. Sam and I would've eventually butted heads one way or the other. This only made it faster."

"Jake…I'm so grateful for all you've done. I just can't even begin to express it. I don't know how -" I broke off; I couldn't find words strong enough for my gratitude.

"You know how you can repay me?" he said with intensity. "By being happy, Bells. I know I made a lot of mistakes, and I know I hurt you."

"Jake, don't," I interrupted, but he pressed his fingers to my lips and didn't let me finish.

"No, Bella. It's true, I did hurt you too. But you have to understand that all I ever wanted was for you to be happy - I just didn't understand how you could feel that way about him. I thought that I would lose you forever, and that fear made me irrational and stupid. But I understand now." He gave my arm a little squeeze.

"Yeah, I heard about that. How's that working for you?" I took the opportunity to change the direction our conversation was taking. I knew I wouldn't be able to convince him that he had it backwards.

He chuckled loudly and his entire face lit up. "It's going great, Doctor Phil. Her name is Lizzie, and she's amazing," he said full of adulation.

I was thrilled for him - Jake deserved to be happy. "How'd you meet her?" I asked.

"Down in Tacoma - I was just walking around aimlessly through the park, feeling sorry for myself and moping. I had run all day, and I was tired and hungry. I phased back and stole some clothes that hung from a line in someone's backyard. I looked terrible. I walked through the park looking at all the people eating and playing, thinking of how I could steal some of their food without them noticing. I decided to wait for some of them to go play something and leave their tables unattended. As I waited, I slumped down by a tree, and as I was looking through the crowd…well, that's when I saw her." His face transformed as he relived the memory, his eyes glazing like he was far away.

"Her eyes…so green, so beautiful..." He paused and looked at me, suddenly realizing I was still there. I smiled encouragingly.

"Well, I knew I was a goner. I smiled like an idiot, and surprisingly enough, she smiled back. She came over to sit with me - she didn't even look afraid of me! And trust me, after months of running around as a wolf, not showering, eating raw meat… I made a Yeti look like a stud. She brought me food, and we ended up talking all afternoon. She's really smart and funny. Turns out she lives in Portland with her brother and his wife. Her brother's a mechanic, so she knows her way around an engine. Her parents got divorced when she was 12. Her mom died a year later and no one knows where her dad is. Scum bag," he muttered.

My eyes were wide with curiosity. "How did she take it? When you told her that you're a werewolf? And about…imprinting." I knew how she must've felt, being thrown head first into a world full of mythological creatures. It's not for the faint of heart; Lizzie must have a backbone. I liked her already.

"That part sort of happened by accident, really. I was hanging around outside the house in Tacoma where she was staying with her cousin. I guess some people would call it stalking, but I didn't mean anything bad by it - I just needed to be close to her, to know that she was ok," he said defensively, like he was trying to excuse some unpardonable behavior.

I laughed. "Believe me, I know what you mean." Someone else I knew had taken to similar activities when we'd begun dating.

"Anyway, I had phased into my wolf form and was curled up under a tree. Their backyard was circled by forest, so I had no worries about being discovered. I guess I was distracted, and I heard a noise and went to look. She was standing right there, her fingers interlaced in the chain link fence that separated us. Our eyes met, and for a second I thought she was going to scream. But after a few moments, she whispered my name. I can't tell you how surprised I was that she could recognize me!" he exclaimed, the disbelief still evident on his face.

"Sounds like Lizzie is a very special girl," I murmured. I could see it all happening in my mind - the love, seeping through the wolf's eyes, the understanding coming from the young girl, and finally the acceptance of each other. Magic resides everywhere, especially in our hearts.

"She is," he said simply, grinning happily.

Suddenly his stomach made a very angry sound, reminding me that although I had no need for human food, my best friend still needed to eat. The sun was starting to set. Wow - I didn't even notice how long we'd been talking. It felt like mere minutes. I took his rumbling stomach as my cue and we started heading back, talking all the way, holding hands like we used to.

As soon as we walked through the door I knew something was wrong. Everyone was standing still, stress evident in their expressions. I ran to Edward and hugged him, leaving Jacob by the door looking very confused.

"What's wrong?" I whispered into his chest.

"The Volturi," he answered in a hiss, and as I took in the two simple words, a huge weight landed in my stomach.


	14. Division

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**** No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 14

**Division**

"_**You think that a wall as solid as the earth separates civilization from barbarism. I tell**_

_**you the division is a thread, a sheet of glass."**_

_**-John Buchan, 1**__**st**__** Baron Tweedsmuir-**_

Now that I had become a vampire there was no reason to worry about them. I had kept my end of the bargain, so I shouldn't be afraid of the Volturi coming here to annihilate my whole family; still, the mere mention of their name inspired unparallel fear in me.

"What is it Edward?" I asked.

"We're not sure," he said, slowly looking at Alice .

"I don't know," she said, anxiety coloring her voice. "I just can't understand what could've happened. It's a blur - one second they're in Volterra," she said, shuddering delicately, no doubt remembering our brief but horrifying visit to the castle. "And then, it's like they don't exist – they're just… gone." She pressed her fingers to her temples and scrunched her eyes tight. It looked like she was in pain.

Jasper rubbed her shoulders gently and kissed both of her closed eyelids. He was trying to soothe her, but underneath his calm façade I could see his worry.

"Edward, I don't understand. Are they dead?" I needed for someone to explain things fast. I hated seeing my sister like this.

"No. Well, at least we don't think so. Alice just can't see them all in the castle. She sees flashes of some of the members of the guard and Marcus running off on their own." He paused and looked at Carlisle . "Oh - I had no idea," he said, apparently commenting on something Carlisle had thought.

Emmett sighed. "What?"

Carlisle smiled a little at his impatient son.

"Edward was referring to a random thought I had. You see this is not the first time Marcus has wanted to part from Aro. While I was living with them I always found Marcus' demeanor to be kind of confusing. First I thought that maybe he was feeling adverse to their way of life. I thought that like me, he was not happy about the total loss of his humanity and perhaps he would join me in my quest to overcome the evils of our existence. I tried to talk to him, to see if there was a way of convincing him that killing innocents was wrong, and that we could survive from the blood of animals."

"So you're saying that your Italian mafia might be turning vegan?" Jacob had remained quite all this time, but now moved closer to listen.

"No, that's not what I'm saying," Carlisle chuckled at his comment but continued. "When my efforts proved ineffective, I asked Aro about it. Marcus' story is a very sad one. You see, when we are changed, our bodies are not the only part of us that remain frozen in time. Our attitudes - our beliefs, at the time of our change also remain permanent. Only the most powerful of feelings can change us. This actually happened to Marcus. A long time ago he was a very different man. He was in love."

He paused to softly caress Esme's cheek, and continued.

"His wife's name was Didyme. She was Aro's sister. Aro changed her in hopes that her power would be similar to his, but he was disappointed. She did have a great skill, but her power was to bring happiness to those around her. It was not what Aro had hoped for. Eventually Marcus fell in love with her; after all, who could resist such a winning personality? Marcus was not the only one to fall for her, but the difference was that Didyme returned his feelings. They were happy - at least that's what Aro told me. They were thinking of going away, off on their own. Aro wanted them to remain by his side, but he did not try to stop them. One day unfortunately, Didyme fell victim to a werewolf attack; Aro is convinced that it was actually meant for him."

"Sure, blame the wolf," Jacob interjected, full of hatred.

Carlisle smiled at him. "No Jacob. Not one of your kind, but one of the real Children of the Moon."

We all looked at Jacob. "Huh?" was his brilliant comment.

"You see Jacob, the Children of the Moon do exist, but you are not one of them." Carlisle patiently began his explanation.

"What? But I _am_ a wolf. I don't want to scare you, Doc, but I've seen it happen. I've felt it happen - and from what I know, none of us has ever morphed into 'My Little Pony.'"

Edward laughed. "Yes, we know Jacob. What Carlisle is trying to say is that real werewolves are more like the Hollywood version of the creature. They morph into wolves that very much resemble your own transformation, but they can only do this at night. And like us, the only way for them to continue their species is by infecting others."

Jacob seemed confused at this revelation – and he wasn't the only one.

"So what are we then?" Jacob asked, his forehead creasing.

It was Carlisle who answered. "I think a more accurate name would be shape-shifters. The choice of the wolf form was purely chance."

"If you knew this all along, why didn't anyone tell us?" Jacob said, now looking directly at Edward.

"It just never came up. I didn't think it was very important. The true Children of The Moon have been hunted to near extinction by the Volturi. I didn't think it would matter to you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Edward answered sincerely.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "No, it's...I just have to rethink my whole pedigree now. New paperwork."

Of course he would make a joke.

"So you think Marcus has gone away to seek revenge? Maybe he wants to take out the werewolves that remain?" Emmett asked.

"Perhaps; there aren't many more left though. Aro made sure of that, especially after Didyme's death." Carlisle pondered.

Alice's head snapped up, her eyes unfocused and glassy. Jasper took her face in his hands and whispered her name over and over. She finally came out of the trance and her eyes met Edward's.

"What is it Alice ? What happened?" Esme asked worriedly, stepping closer to Alice and placing a hand on her shoulder.

It was Edward who answered. "Chelsea is dead."

I had heard that name before, but it was a foggy memory. Edward had mentioned her when he was explaining how the Volturi guard worked, how they were able to lay down the law even when they were outnumbered. I tried to remember what Edward had said about her, but I couldn't.

"So is Afton," Alice spoke in a voice that was merely a whisper.

"Do you know who did it?" Carlisle asked.

"I think," she said the word unsure, "I think it was Marcus."

Carlisle gave an involuntary gasp. "Why would he do this?" He took a step closer to oversized window that nearly reached the ceiling and appeared to be lost in his thoughts as he looked out over the forest.

" Chelsea was the one that could influence the emotional ties between people, right?" Rosalie asked to no one in particular. "So now we know why some of the guard took off on their own. Without Chelsea there to bind them to Aro, they were free to go."

Edward scrunched his eyebrows digesting what Rosalie had said. "Yes, that makes sense. And Afton was Chelsea 's partner - Marcus must've killed Afton so he wouldn't follow him…I just don't understand the reason for all of this."

A horrible idea suddenly dawned on me. I could see the headlines already forming in my head, and the words just slipped through my lips. "Oh no!"

Edward immediately put his arms around me, gazing intently at me. "What is it Bella?"

"With the Volturi gone, who will make sure our secret is safe? Who can guarantee that the war for territory will not ignite again? Edward! My mom, my dad - they won't be safe!" Hysteria was slowly overtaking me and I had to fight hard to regain control.

He gently took my face and held me to his chest. "I know love, but don't worry. It's too early for that yet." He took a step back to look into my eyes as he whispered, "This could be nothing."

I wasn't fooled - I could see it in his eyes, he was worried. He knew I was right.

"Don't worry, sis. We'll make sure your parents are ok. This might be fun, actually - a fight with a bunch of newborns," Emmett commented, full of enthusiasm.

"NO!" Rosalie's scream made us all jump. "I will not let you take part in this! This is _not_ our fight." She was livid.

Wow. She looked so…vulnerable. I had never seen her like this. Of course, I could understand her perfectly. She wanted to protect the reason of her existence - she loves Emmett more than her own life. Even Rosalie Hale could be vulnerable – go figure - when faced with the chance of losing her love.

Emmett held her chin up, and spoke softly to her. "Rosie, I'm sorry. I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

"I need to go," Jacob said as he took a step back towards the door. He looked older again, his expression guarded. "Lizzie is waiting, and I need to let the others know about this. We should be on guard. You'll let me know if anything changes." He directed the last sentence to Edward, who nodded in agreement.

I waved an awkward goodbye to him as he fled through the door. I wanted to say a proper goodbye, but I could feel his anxiety to leave and I didn't want to keep him away from Lizzie.

I sighed after he was gone. "So what do we do now? Shouldn't I start training? You know - just in case it comes to that?"

Edward immediately tensed at my suggestion, his arms tightening even more around me.

"What we need to do right now is concentrate on your ability to control your thirst," he said, but then sensing my disbelieve he added, "We don't know yet what all of this means, Bella. We just have to wait. We might as well do something useful with our time while we do so. Perhaps we you and I should go for a quick hunt?"

I considered fighting him on this for a minute, but I relented. I knew it was a little immature of me to have these urges at a moment like this, but looking up into his golden eyes, I suddenly felt an intense need to be alone with him. So I agreed.

**A/N ****First I would like to thank LeesaM for making an OK story be a great one. This story would not be worth reading without your amazing help and input. Thank you so much.**

**I dedicate this story to my wonderful husband. Because you return from work and ignore the pile of laundry and the mess and instead you ask: "Hey, have you written anything today?" Wow! It's been 12 years and I'm still so crushing on you! ****Te amo mi vida. La acción viene pronto en la historia y te prometo que Bella va a patearle el trasero a los vampiros.**


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